I got cable and now I can do Red Carpet Event reviews

drum roll please..............................

I introduce to you "Valerie's Deep Thoughts about the Oscars"

It has been such a long time since I have been able to watch a red carpet event.  Last night I was so excited and cuddled up to Andrew on the couch to watch the event.  Except he tried talking me into  watching a documentary about the Taliban for about 30 minutes before I pulled out all of my "how many boxing, football, basketball, "24", action movies...(you get the point) have you made me sit through" speech.  And then I won.  And we disected how everyone looked together.  I must say he has good taste. 

Let's start, shall we?

Although Andrew was worried that it was a bit scandelous on top with the little lace pretties covering her ta-tas, I thought this dress was just.....GORG!  Her hair, the color, the makeup...it all just worked for me.  Even though it was a little Nip daring---I thought she pulled it off.

I like simple.  I like clean lines.  I like things done right.  And this girl did this right.  

Wow.  JHudson looked fab.  She has really transformed her body.  I loved this dress and the color on Jennifer.  Her hair was a little stiff on the sides.....and I'm not a big fan of what's going on in her chest area (they are just like...chicken cutlet looking....) BUT damn girl.  Good for you.  

Okay.  She looked beautiful.  We all can admit that.  But I felt like it was a little too.....Julia Roberts circa 2001?  I don't know.  Kinda boring to me.  And what was up with the pony tail extension?  Sorry girlfriend...I wasn't feeling it.

I didn't see Michelle on the red carpet but I did see a close up of her face during the Best Actress part.  Her face is just....flawless.  I just think she looks like an angel.  She pulls off the pixie like no one can.

Oh, I love her.  I love her little preggars ball gown. She is just so pretty and can pull off just about everything.  I just didn't like her earrings.  Kinda ruined the overall look for me.  But she did have the classiest acceptance speech.  Love her. 

Can we please have more young women in Hollywood who dress appropriate for their age?  Love her whole look.

Me and my friend Johannah have this saying....W.W.G.D. (what would Gwenyth do).  We use it in social situations when we need to remember to ....well, stay classy.   Needless to say, I've always been a big fan of her.  Gwen looked really beautiful and I liked the metallic look.  BUT.  Oh, Gwen.  I'm struggling with this whole "country strong" thing.  You do have a beautiful voice.  I love the song "Cruisin'".  It fit your style of singing completely.  But I'm not feeling your performances as of lately.  Especially last night.  I mean, you have a rockstar hubsters, a baby, you are incredibly wealthy and beautiful.....maybe you can't have it all *gasp*.  And who lined up Celine Dion to sing directly after Gweny?  Bad call, folks.  Moving on, moving forward.....

    

Last but not least, our hosts.  I love Anne Hathaway.  She pulls of the quirky-nerdy girl meets bombshell perfectly.  I thought she looked stunning in all of her choices--she is a classic Hollywood beauty.  Mr. Franco--you are a good lookin' man, no doubt.  But, I'm not exactly sure they cast correctly for a co-host.  You a.  looked exhausted and b. acted "too cool for school".  I don't know....I just need a little bit more personality for a co-host.  Give it to the girls--Anne out shined.  

Alright.  These are my big thoughts on the Oscars.  I know I probably missed some big names....(halle berry....you can do no wrong) but this was all I could remember on this moody Monday morning.  Joan Rivers will probably be calling me any minute now to book me for her show.  

Peace out lovlies.