Friday, November 30, 2012

ready for the weekend

found here.

The weekend is upon us!!!!!!  

I am excited to slow down and spend time in my little home.  

Tonight, however, shall be a girl's night.  If you are from 'round these parts you should stop on by The Green Door sale to find all sorts of goodies.  I'll have some eggs for sale and a few vintage clothes that need to find a new home.  

I'm also going to a screening of the Ina May Gaskin film Birth Story on Saturday.  And it's *free*! 

Other plans:

exfoliating & hydrating the belly
painting the nursery (eeeekkk!)
cleaning, cleaning, cleaning
laundry, laundry, laundry
eating, eating, eating
lovin' on some cats & dogs
and taking some long baths

peace out.


Tuesday, November 27, 2012

blood shot eyes, chubby cheeks, can't lose

 In other words, I am 28 weeks pregnant.
(I hope you appreciate my Friday Night Lights humor)

Blood shot eyes:  sleeping has become a game of sorts.  I have to time it perfectly or I will be up and down all night.  Last night I went to bed too early, which meant I was up again at 12:00 a.m. (and 1:30 & 2:00).  I'm too cheap to get a body pillow so I just stick one in between my legs, spoon another, and then have one for my head.  Yes, this means Andrew only has one pillow now but he doesn't complain too much. 

Chubby cheeks:  I'm not really the limiting type and after not being able to eat for about 15 weeks I made a promise to myself that I would never take eating for granted again.  Clearly, I have lived up to my personal promise.  Watching the scale numbers go up and up is a little shocking but I try to balance it out.  Who am I kidding?  I eat what I want, when I want, and then go for walks at night.  I don't have enough brain cells available to be too hard on myself.  Words of the wise---pick and choose what you want to really focus on and try and let the rest slip by.  Luckily I chose working on being happy & not anx ridden during pregnancy.  Pass the cupcakes. 

Can't lose:  Well, because the end result is going to be my little baby!  duh. 

Thankfully one of my bosom buddies willed down a bunch of maternity clothes to me.  I took two fabulous bathroom snap shots because this shirt gives that nice tent look, so you can't really tell how big my belly is getting without the signature two handed belly grab.  

Keep on growin' little thing.  I'll do my part and keep on eatin'.  :) 

Monday, November 26, 2012

nothing left to say...

There is nothing more left to say about going back to work on a Monday after Holiday break that can't be summed up in this picture.

I will use it as inspiration to get through the day and giggle. 

i love this cat's face.
and I love vanilla chai lattes. 
and I can't stop eating.

happy monday

Saturday, November 24, 2012

always finding home

 Me, baby in belly, and soon to be Uncle Jason

Ah, the Thanksgiving feast has been served, leftovers sit in the refrigerator, and my heart feels full.

We spent Thanksgiving at my brother's home in Tennessee.  My mom and Aunt Cindy also met us there.  I can always find home where my family gathers.  Thanksgiving dinner never seems to be in the same place each year, but that is something that I reflected on being thankful for on our drive back to Virginia.  It used to be a struggle to let go of how things "used to be", especially around the Holidays but over the years I have learned that this was a gift in disguise.  Home is where you make it.  It doesn't matter if it is with your *new* family, in a different house, a restaurant, or sitting in a hotel making turkey sandwiches.  It isn't made up of four walls, or fancy place settings--those are just all distractions of what is really important.   It is being around the people that love you unconditionally.  That is what I felt this Thanksgiving.  I was surrounded by my brother, sister in law, nephews, mom, aunt, and husband--all who I love so dearly.  I thought about our baby and how lucky she is to be born into a family who loves each other so much.  I missed the family and friends that I couldn't be with, but I was so happy to get to spend the day visiting with my brother and his family, who I don't get to see as much as we would all like. 

This stuck out in my mind tonight as what I was grateful for the most this year.  Always finding home.   

(we asked a man if he would snap this picture of all of us.  he said, "Sure.  1.2.3. Say Shit!"  It was a really?? moment for sure.)

Monday, November 19, 2012

over it

This nasty cold, that is.  

Andrew can vouch for me that I am the most stubborn patient and that I hate taking medicine, but oh what I would do for a box of cold and sinus meds and to suck down some Nyquil right now.  The nasty ick bug entered our house last week and it finally nabbed me.

On top of all my usually pregnancy complaints, having a head cold makes things 100% worse.  Baby girl seems to be just fine, jumping around like a little bean in there while her mother is being a big mope, walking around with a tissue stuck up her nose.

We were supposed to paint the nursery this weekend and start getting things set up.  Well, that didn't happen.  We had birthing class on Saturday, I went to go see a movie on Saturday night (Lincoln--it was phenomenal.  Daniel Day Lewis is such an amazing actor) and Sunday I could barely get out of of bed.  We'll get it up and running though. 

Bump shot hopefully sometime this week when I can get myself together.  


Friday, November 16, 2012

we like to party

Last night we celebrated Andrew's 30th birthday!  We spent the evening at his parents house with the family, including his niece and nephew, who are two of our favorite little people in the world.  While we were all preparing dinner, Aubrey and Ashton set up the table with presents & sweet notes for Andrew.  They even thought twice about giving up some of their toys, taking them off of the table and then deciding on their own that they were in fact ready to give them over.  Andrew decided to keep his new presents at Grandmas since we needed to make room for the baby.  I think they were both relieved.  He was spoiled with new riding boots, a warm winter hat from my mom, and I apparently hit the jackpot of all gifts when I got him two books that were on his wish list:  "The Hobbit" and "Cloud Atlas".   

Happy birthday you old man.  You are one special fellow.  

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

preparing for zee birth!

As a first timer over here, I am trying to work through what my birth plan will look like and more importantly, how I want to this experience to feel--for both myself and Andrew.  It has been very interesting to sit back and listen to others experiences, words of encouragement, and unfortunately words of discouragement. 

The most important thing for me is to enter into birth without fear.  I realized early on that I had a lot of fear surrounding me when thinking about birth.  I believe that women attain this sense of fear mainly through what images we are shown in the media, as well as hearing other birth stories from other women who are filled with fear.  I also believe that men, through their misunderstanding of what a woman's body is capable of, have injected their own fears into the medical field and made the birthing process unattractive and misunderstood.

I am not afraid of having to go down the route of an epidural or a c-section if medically necessary, however, I want to enter into this experience without the fear that my body somehow isn't made to do this.  Because that is exactly what my body has been made to do.  I am no different than a horse, or a cat, or any other animal that can give birth without wildly thrashing around.  I don't believe that is how God created a women's body.  I actually had a man, when referencing birth, call it it the "curse of eve".  You can imagine my disgust.  That is another example of how men have shaped an experience that they know very little about.  

Through readings and practice, I am watching the fear that I have surrounding birth melt away.  I feel empowered by this experience that I am so lucky to go through.  I feel a shift in the way my mind is taking this all in---and it feels so good.  I understand why women feel the need to make twisted faces or say things like "oh, you tell me how that whole natural birth goes for you", when I talk about my desires.  I have probably said the same doubtful things in the past.  But we are so very misinformed and misguided about how amazing our bodies are.  How can I be 28 years old and just learning this?  I will take it on as my duty to teach my daughter about her body and its capabilities in an empowering way.  

These are the two books I am currently reading and will be adding to the list.  Let me know if you have any suggestions!  

Monday, November 5, 2012

Feelin' Fine at 25

Here I am!  Alive and well at 25 weeks doing my glamorous bathroom bump shot. 

Some updates:

*Baby girl is moving around all the time.  I love it!  (except when she is kicking...down below)

*I'm already having trouble getting up out of the bed or the couch when I am laying down.  I feel like a beached whale (I know, hold my's gonna get worse)

*I want to eat 24/7.  What's new?

*Warm baths are my best friend

*Maternity clothes are my other BF.  

*Word on the street is that the nursery is going to be painted this weekend

*Speaking of the weekend, me and baby girl are taking a trip to TEXASSSSSSS on Thursday to hang out with my girlfriend whose wedding I can't make in March.  We are jet setters.  :)

*Baby shower preparations are taking place  

*Whenever Andrew makes me mad I tell him that he has hurt the babies feelings and that she is mad at him and he usually apologies first.  Sucker.

*We started taking our first hypnobirthing classes and chose our Doula.  Exciting!   

*We have a name picked out and if I have been asked 10,000 times per usual per day and you catch me at the right moment, I might just tell you what it is.  But no big reveal until she is here. 

*And I did some math, which is hard for me.  In 10 weeks I will be 35 weeks.  Which means, I am close to 36 weeks.  Which means that she will almost be ready to be here! 

Peace out.  Working on taking it day by day. 

Sunday, November 4, 2012

the pregnancy brain bug

image found here.

I've had a little bug in my brain the last few weeks, constantly going on and on about all of the things I still need to do, if I am doing what I am already doing right, and on and on.  I think deep down I knew that I would struggle with this bug at some point of the pregnancy, but it is still hard to work through.  I spilled the beans to my midwife at my last appointment--that I've felt anxious lately, worried that I am doing things all wrong, disappointing people, and most of all worried that I was passing along any stress to my baby.  

She said all the things I needed to hear.  One of her best lines was:  

"You only need a place for her to sleep and a car seat.  The rest is all fluff."


It is so hard to not get wrapped up in the fluff, especially when the little pregnancy bug is telling you that your nursery must be PERFECT or somehow you have failed.  Wha what???  I've got enough perspective with myself to realize that that is nothing but crazy talk in my head.  But it creeps up---I think a lot of women go through this.  And when you don't have the largest budget (um..make that any budget) to try and make it happen, it can compound even more.

My other stress has been work.  With my brain pulled in 10 different directions and my energy level shooting highs and lows, it has been pretty difficult to feel my best there.  And I want to.  I want to do a good job, so when I feel like I am lacking I create yet another made up scenario that I am disappointing everyone, including myself. 

So I am taking a step back.  I'll continue to take this day by day and realize that I am doing the best I can do.  I'm at the cusp of the biggest life change in my life, both personally and professionally.  I don't think the magnitude of it all hit me until these past two weeks.  

But under all of this is excitement.  I know my heart is ready for this.  I just have to catch my brain up to speed.  I fell instantly in love with this quote from Rumi.  It is a strange pull, this little one inside.  She is leading me into a life unknown.  But I know I am not being led astray.  
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