Drop it like it's hot

Today we had our 37 week appointment with our midwife.  It's confirmed--the baby did drop!  This means that she is getting ready for her journey.  As I expected, I was told to hold tight and just keep everyone updated on any significant signs.  We are eager beaver first timers and were told multiple times to keep calm and that it could still be up to 3 or more weeks.  But we are seeing some good signs of progress so I'll hold out on that little bit of hope that she could be here soon.  

There was a visiting midwife at my appointment today so I got double attention (always a plus in my book).  They both estimated that the baby weighs about 7 lbs.  Yeah, let that sink in.  She's not going to be a tiny dancer.  

Some other notable points :

I've got some serious feet swelling/cankle action going on so I need to drink more water and keep an eye on that.  (oh that just makes me think of Lady Sybil, RIP)

We need to get baby girl back over to the left side which means I am doing a lot of this:

And we are going to plant a placenta tree.

Like how I casually threw that last one in there?
So, they asked us if we had thought about what we wanted to do with the placenta.  Well...um, nothing?  They suggested that since we live on our own land that we take the placenta and plant it with a new tree and it could be the babies' tree to watch and grow as she grows older.  Upon some deep research (google), I found that there are a lot of different cultures that do regard the placenta as very sacred part of the birth.  

Hey, sure---why not?!  I think it sounds pretty cool.  I told her to bag it up and we will stick it in the freezer and plant a tree in the spring.  There's a first time for everything, why not a placenta tree?

Off to bed.  Let's hope we aren't washed away in all this rain tonight.  xo

a feeling

37.4 weeks

Something is a brewin'.  I'm not 100% positive, but I think this little girl's head dropped last night.  I woke up with cramps & they have continued all day with braxton hicks contractions too.  I'm waddling like a duck and things just feel.....different.

I hope I am not jinxing anything.  I have an appointment with my midwife tomorrow, thank goodness.  The hardest part of all of this is just not knowing.  I know I could still have a good bit of time in front of me and honestly, I am not really sure if I am ready yet!  But she knows when she needs to make her appearance and I know I need to just let her & my body do their thing.

Andrew is so excited he can't stand it.  I'm sitting on the couch right now, feeling this little bean kick and move around while he is studying a birthing book.  

Yes.  There is a lot of anticipation floating around this here trailer.  

Accepting all good vibes and energy.  ;)  Send 'em my way.  

full moon

There is a full moon out tonight and I am still up at 4:12 a.m.

Wide awake.  Not even that sleepy awake in the middle of the night.  I just ate some nachos and cheese and a bowl of oatmeal with chocolate chips in it.  But i'm drinking water so I feel that that is a counter balance, right?

I'm probably up due to lack of physical movement .  I stayed in bed or on the couch pretty much all day -yesterday.  I was a slug.  I did finish my first crochet scarf though.  Yes, i'd say that was the highlight.

I've been getting karate kicked in the side all day long.  I'm guessing things are getting a little cramped in there (37 weeks!  woohoo!).  She's been all over the place.

 Sometimes, there is this really odd sensation of her feeling like she is trying to crawl out of me and every time she does it I sing "knock, knock, knockin' on heaven's door" to myself.   That's a little weird.

Okay.  I'm gonna go try this sleep thing again.  Thanks for listening.  

I am so craftastic

I am an idea person.  

I can imagine grand ideas, especially when it comes to DIY crafts, but rarely do I ever finish a task.  So you can imagine my excitement when I recently completed a craft from start to finish.

BEHOLD

DIY frames!

I found these oval picture frames at Goodwill for like, $1 a piece.  You couldn't take the picture out of them but I had an idea of painting them with chalkboard paint and then writing initials or quotes on them.  It took two coats of chalkboard paint.   

 

 Ta-da!!  I really like how they turned out.  Spoiler alert:  I'm giving away my daughter's initials.  We will all know soon enough! 

Then I picked up a bunch of different wooden picture frames from various thrift stores and bought some light blue and cream acrylic paint.  Using a small sponge brush, I lightly swept over the frames with the blue paint and then did the same with the cream. 

 Not bad, eh?  They have an old vintage look.  I also did the same thing on a silver frame that had more detailing (see above).  I really like how that one turned out too. 

I've been working away on my embroidery skillz and bought a piece of fabric to stitch a quote on.  I also got this gold frame at a thrift store.  This is a line from a song that my Mamaw would always sing to me.  

All in all, I probably spent $20 for 7 frames, paint, fabric & brushes.  I already had a little can of chalkboard paint. 

Now I just need to hang them up!  As soon as I figure out some pictures to put in the frames I think the nursery will be all set. 

I can craft!  I really can!

i cried and then washed my hair

I've hit the 36 week marker and it seems as if my hormones quadrupled.  Andrew made a sandwich for himself last night without offering one for me and I almost kicked him out of the house.  I have thoughts like, "this will be my life forever and I will never get my body back" quickly followed by "oh God, I am about to have a baby and my life will never be the same MAKE IT STOP so she can stay inside me forever."

This morning it was all about the hair.  My hair was a dirty grease ball and needed to be washed.  So logically I sat in an epsom salt bath to ease my pelvic bone pain and cried about having to then go to the shower and wash my hair (my bathtub shower doesn't work, and the garden tub has the shower but I don't take baths in it----very complicated system over here in the Kingdom of Traiylor).  Andrew sat with me and in sweeter terms told me to get my shit together and that I could either sit in the bathtub all day crying or we could go for a walk, meditate, and make life better.

I hate it when he is right.

I stared at my ever growing belly and asked him if he could carry her for just one night.  Just one night so I could get some solid sleep without waking up every time I had to crane lift myself to roll over.  Wouldn't that be amazing?  Alas no, this is my load to carry and I shall forever remind him the rest of our lives that I did it.

I shuffled to the shower, washed my hair, lubed myself back up with coconut oil, and now I'm propped up with 10 pillows in bed sipping on preggo tea.  Baby girl is lovingly karate kid style kicking me in my side and I'm feeling a little better.  Pregnancy is all consuming--that is why pregnant women can't seem to talk about anything other than being pregnant.  Forgive us, love us, and always tell us we haven't gained that much weight while offering a cookie.   

life lately

 (this makes my heart happy)

 (latest work of art)

(a walk in the woods last weekend in warm weather.  It was so good for the soul) 

(a 35 week bump shot.  36 tomorrow!)

I caught myself off guard last night when I looked over to my left and saw this reflection staring back.   Things are starting to move fast.  I can't believe that in just a few weeks she will be here.  We've been focusing on our hynobirthing techniques and meditation.  Andrew has been the best partner in all of this.  He reads chapters in books that I leave for him, watches birthing videos, and takes our meditations very seriously (maybe more serious than I do sometimes).  I love him even more for all that he is doing to support us.

I'll be having weekly midwife appointments from now on.  That makes me very excited!  At 32 weeks I made a switch to a birthing center and we feel really positive about the decision.  Andrew and I both really wanted a water birth and I felt like I needed to establish a connection with one midwife rather than a rotation of midwives, which was the set up in the other practice.  I love the attention I get at appointments and feel really happy about the decision.   

In baby news, her head is down and as of last night she flipped back over to the optimal left side.  Hopefully she will keep her little butt over there.  My nausea has picked back up in the mornings and well, sometimes in the evenings.  Ick.  Sitting is increasingly uncomfortable, especially when you have to avoid all the comfy chairs in the house.  With all that complaining out of the way,  I really do feel great.  Happy to have a few more weeks to prepare for her and equally happy that I will have her in my arms in a few.   

Happy Friday! 

a to do list of sorts

Maybe it is being in the midst of winter or waiting around for this baby to come, but all I can think about are things that I want to do this year.  

bee keeping

 source

We plan on getting a hive or two this year and starting a journey of bee keeping.  I find bees both fascinating and scary.  They have always been the one insect that I am afraid of.  But I love fresh honey.  I'm excited to see if this happens!

cross stitch/knitting

So this is a new hobby that I have already started.  I needed something to do with my hands while I rested at home so I've been teaching myself how to cross stitch.  Once I start I can't stop so hopefully I will keep this up.  I also really want to take up crochet/knitting. 

soap making

 source

I would love to learn how to make my own soap using herbs from the garden.  I've been reading some blogs that outline it in detail so I think I am going to give it a shot and see what I come up with.

canning

  source

Canning is a MUST this year.  We plan to double the size of our garden and can as much as we can (ha) for the year.  I grew up watching my mamaw and mom can so I think I've got it in my blood.  I just need to go for it.  

bread baking

 source   

I love homemade bread.  I even love the long process of making it.  There is just something different about eating bread that you made yourself.  You appreciate it so much more.  I hope to bake as much bread as I can in 2013. 

write, play, love

  

"Your heart sings like a kettle
And your words, they boil away like steam"

swoon.  I love the lyrics in this song.
Oh my music goals.  Always highs and lows.  I haven't been as dedicated to songwriting or practicing during the pregnancy but I hope to make the space after the baby comes and I am not tied down to hours in an office.  I want to fall in love with songwriting again and pick up my guitar more often.  I want to play out for the right reasons---the love of it all.  I want to record an EP.  I want to get a music website up and going.

Okay.  Now my head is spinning.




Let's check back in Jan. 2014 and see how all of this panned out, shall we?  

Baby and Me sing-a-long

This past Tuesday was sadly the last open mic at the Mockingbird, a local restaurant and music hall in Staunton that I have been playing at over the past few years.  It is sad to see this place go, but we all have hopes that someone will come, scoop it up and reopen it soon.

One of my resolutions was to go and do an open mic before the baby came and when I heard about Mockingbird closing I knew I had to get down there one last time.  I haven't played out since September so I felt a little like a fish out of water, especially maneuvering a guitar and a bump.  It also made me realize how much I *must* pick up that darn guitar every day and play.  Muscle memory is a beast.  

I love that our daughter will grow up with music in her life and I might have a teeny, tiny, hope that she will love singing as much as I do.

1.  "Can't Run Back" written by Valerie McQueen & Jeremy Staubus
2.  "Speckled Moon" written by Valerie McQueen & Barbara Martin

oh-no-you-didn't

Did I just call myself sexy in my last blog post?  

"I no longer look at my body as sexy"

Just for the internet record, that was one of those things that in my head made sense but reading back I realize that I straight up insinuated that I previously looked at my body as one big sexy sex pot.

Chuckles.  Oh my.  As I sit here with my stomach peacfully resting on the top of my thighs please know that while I love my body in any form, I don't normally think of it as sex-ay.

that is all.  

ps.  BEST cat meme of 2012 with this one coming in close at second.  

two thousand twenty twelve

12:00 a.m., New Years Day.  Pimp ass entertainment system pictured in back of photo along with 30 lb weights that keep our door from flying open.

What has this year meant to me?  I've been thinking about this all morning.  We humans tend to do that on Jan. 1 of any year.  I thought back on the beginning of last year and I can't really remember anything.  I remember the winter being long and hard as it usually seems to be.  The wedding was over.  Cold had set in.  We were trying for a baby and it wasn't happening.  I slowly found my way back into a *funk*.  

I remember May and feeling the layers peal off bit by bit as spring arrived.  Andrew and I sat down and  discussed not putting pressure on ourselves to conceive.  No more looking at the calendar and feeling that monthly disappointment.  Let's just wait, we said.  Things are starting to look up and heck, we could try and save some more money, drink some more beer, and take a wild trip somewhere.  

Guess what happened the month we stopped "trying".  

2012 has made me look at my body in wonder.  I no longer look at my body as sexy, and I don't mean that in a negative way.  I grew up and realize that my body is so much more than just a size or shape that fit some idealistic image of what would please myself and my husband.  It became this vessel, stretching and reforming to carry life.  Although I couldn't appreciate it in the moment most of the time because I felt so sick, I am in awe of the process.  Look at what I (we) have created.

I am 33 weeks pregnant.  I feel her move more than ever now.  Andrew interacts with her everyday.  She surely will know who he is when she looks into his eyes.  I worry and pray that she is healthy and that I have done a good job taking care of her.  They say this is just the start of a mother's worry.  

2013 will be one of the most transformative years of our lives.  I sit in our *almost* finished nursery and stare at her crib.  I look at my body in the mirror and continue to watch it prepare itself automatically for her arrival.  It is such an out of body experience.  I think I have said that before but I don't know another way to put it.  

2013 will be the year I watch our hearts grow.

2013 will be the year that our patience is tested.

2013 will be the year that I live in the moment.  

2013 will be the year we become a mother and father.

Blessings, love, and light to everyone in the new year!   

ps.  2013 will also be the year that I:

*spend more time with friends

*keep up with laundry

*quit biting my nails FOR GOOD

*stay healthy and active

*post too many photos of my belly & baby (#sorryimnotsorry)

*stop reading trashy websites (wait..that's too hard...must.resist.internet.gossip)