Thursday, March 8, 2012

The most romantic wedding night you will ever read about

Remember how I booked a romantic room at a local B&B for our wedding night?  Well, this is a story about how we spent $200 to stay in a room for 5 hours, 10 miles down the road from our house and walk-of-shamed our arses back home. 

 Andrew was never on board for the wedding night room to begin with.  He couldn't wrap his head around why we would want to leave all of our friends that night.  I assured him that it would be a little overwhelming and we would want to probably get away at the end of the night (and that I was not going to spend my wedding night in our trailer).

Fast forward to the end of the wedding.  We did our send off and folks started to leave but it just didn't feel right to leave .  I mean, it was OUR PARTY and I wanted to party some more.  My bridal party left one by one, family was gone, and then it seemed like it was just us late-nighters and the band.  Andrew kept asking me if I wanted to leave and go to the room and I kept saying "NO!  Its my party!!!!!!! I cant leave!"

One by one, our sober rides to the B&B left.

Around 2:00 Andrew finally started making sense to me.  All of our safe rides had left. I looked around the barn and clearly, no one left was in a state to drive.  There was only one option---my mother in law.

Andrew tried to talk me out of going to the room at all, it seemed silly at this point to him.  Empasis on "to him".  I put my foot down and said NO.  I MUST GO TO OUR ROOM.  IT IS PART OF OUR ROMANTIC WEDDING NIGHT.

So off we went down to his parent's house to wake up his mom and ask her if she would drive us to the B&B.  Andrew continued to try and talk me out of it, but my heart was set.  She loves me a lot and said yes and we loaded up in the backseat of her Navigator and went down the road.  

So..just picture this.  We are still decked out in our wedding attire, in the back seat of my mother in law's car going to our wedding night B&B.

We arrived at our beautiful room and.....


let's skip over some parts.

I woke up at about 6:30 a.m. and realized I had not packed an overnight bag OR a cell phone.  Neither did Andrew.  So we were trapped in our room and all I had to wear was spanx and a band t-shirt.  
I started to have that panicked, without a cell phone and slightly hungover feelings.  (you know what I mean)

I finally got a hold of my mom at the hotel and asked her to bring me some clothes and if she could get us a ride back home.  A few minutes later we hear her knocking at the door and she hands me some pajama pants.'s just me, my mom, and my new husband standing beside my wedding night bed.  This is exactly how I planned things.  

Then we had to make our escape.  I grabbed my wedding dress in a huge ball and went for it.  People were in the lobby, and I could hear them say "oh, look! They just got married!  I didn't dare make eye contact.  

We got in the car and all busted out laughing.  How did this end up even happening?  Then we begged my mom to go by Hardees for some biscuits and gravy and the rest is history.  

We got a nice email from the owners a day or so later saying that they were sad to have missed us over breakfast.  Oppsie.  Sorry, I was shoveling Hardees in my mouth and trying to pick up the pieces of my life back from the floor.

It was perfectly "us" and a story we may or may not tell our children.  

And that concludes our walk-of-shame wedding night story.  


Caroline Elizabeth said...

This is AMAZING!! I hope that Ben and I have a story half this good to tell. I love it :)

Valerie said...

Hahaha! Caroline, I pray that you and Ben have a much smoother wedding night than us!!!! XOXO

Amber said...

Valerie, you are hilarious and I missed your musings. I just read this out loud to my husband. The day after our wedding, we checked out and I realized I'd left my bouquet. We drove home and I realized I LEFT MY DRESS. I had to go back and act all insane to get back in the room. Ridiculous.

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