Friday, June 7, 2013

Keepin' It Real Series : K.I.R.

If you are a true child of the 90's and/or Clueless lover, you will remember when Murray pisses off Deon by shaving his head because he is "keepin' it real".  I decided that in the land of blogs & Facebook where it is so easy to make your life look picture perfect I would have posts dedicated to K.I.R. so we all embrace our imperfections a little more.  

Today I am K.I.R. about a few things that I thought motherhood would be like pre-baby and my actual reality.  

1.  Since I will be a stay at home mom, I will have my house clean all of the time.  I mean, you are home all day long, how could you NOT have the time?  
Bitch, please.  I was so wrong about this one.  My house is a hot mess and my child doesn't even crawl yet.  I go to start to do the dishes thinking that Ev is happy as a clam in her bouncy seat and 3 minutes later she is screaming.  I'll clean my living room and then lay her down to change her on the floor or play with her and all of the sudden a bomb has exploded on my living room floor and there are teething rings, dirty diapers, wipes, and baby socks everywhere.  Staying at home all day with a baby does not equal a clean house.  Just give up the dream.

2.  I won't be one of those moms that don't find the time to shower or put themselves together.  
Just shut up.  Shut. up.  This makes me laugh.  I didn't take the time to put myself together BEFORE I had a baby so I don't know what I was smoking when I made this statement pre-baby.  I realized the other day I had not had a shower in 4 days, but then remembered that I had gone swimming, so I counted that as a semi-bath and it made me feel a little less like a scum bag.  Don't judge me.  I know you are reading this to yourself thinking, "omg, 4 days?  she is so gross."  It happens & acknowledging that you have a problem is the first step.  Support me, love me, suds me.  

3.  My baby won't watch T.V.  
cough *liar* cough.  I believed in this so much that we actually cancelled our cable right after she was born.  We wanted to save some money & thought that it was perfect timing since we didn't want the T.V. to be on all of the time around Evs.  We held out strong, all the way until about the 6th-7th straight week of her crying for 4 hour blocks until 2:00 a.m.  We both had a breakdown fight one night and I had barricaded myself in the bedroom with Everly cleaning (you want to know how to get me to clean?  Fight with me.  I will put away some motherflippin' laundry angry faster than no other), anyways, I walked out to tell Andrew that I forgave him and I still loved him and he was sitting on the couch watching T.V.  My heart grew 3 sizes for him that evening.  We just couldn't do it anymore.  So, do I catch Everly starring at the T.V. sometimes?  Yes.  When it gives me 5 minutes to go to the bathroom do I let it bother me?  No.  

4.  I'm gonna bounce right back into my old clothes and start a workout routine ASAP!
Punch her.  Punch her in the face.  At first, you don't have to worry about it at all.  I mean, you literally just pushed a baby out of your body.  But then I started to feel like I should be doing....something?  So I walked a little, telling myself that post 6 weeks I would start a light workout.  Maybe at 8-9 weeks out I would start back up at the gym.  None of this has happened yet.  I did go through a phase when I was having some breastfeeding issues that I needed to clean up my diet.  I was being a little too strict on myself and when one of my midwives came over for a visit she snapped me back into reality.  She told me that if I was on any sort of diet to STOP RIGHT NOW.  When you are breastfeeding you need extra calories.  Your body needs to be full.  You need to be focused on eating a healthy, balanced diet and eating frequent.  It's funny, because it was almost like I needed someone to give me the permission to just let it go and EAT.  So I have been letting myself eat what I want, when I want.  I'm not like, gorging on fatty foods, but I do eat little meals all of the time and honestly, there is so much going on in my brain right now that giving up the need to go back into my old clothes 3 months after having a baby has been the best thing for me mentally.  And my new black one piece from Wal-Mart is actually very flattering if I do say so myself.  :)  

So those are my first 4 Keepin' It Real confessions.  If you feel like you are living in the Pinterest land of inadequacy, have no fear.  I rarely shower and cry about my dirty floors on a regular basis.  I love you too.  


LLK said...

YES! I want to give you a stand-up "AMEN!" or something. I have dust buffalos, tons of laundry to fold and put away, and a sinkful of dishes...but you know what? I don't care and neither does Annie. I know with an hour or two of Annie-free time, I can get things back together and I'd much rather spend my days in the backyard or at the park!

Valerie said...

dust buffalos! HA! I love that and have an entire herd here. AMENS SISTAAAA.

Johannah Quinn said...

dust buffalos=best comment ever to the best blog post you have ever written. i want this to be reposted all over blog land

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