Wednesday, June 29, 2011

shut up Jillian

That's what I have been screaming at my television each morning.  Listen to this craziness.  I had a dip in life motivation for about two weeks so then I decided to have a total life makeover (I've had many of these my dears) and made this my ULTIMATE LIFE CHALLENGE

Really all that means it that I am waking up at 6 a.m. each morning and doing Jillian Michaels new 30 day Shred DVD.  It is ridiculous.  Ridic.  I can't walk.  I waddle.  My whole body hurts.  Each morning I dream of sleeping in and spooning Olivia.  But it's off to Jillian I go.  (that bitch)

My breakdown came after I found a pile of Snickers Ice Cream Bar wrappers in my car, home, and purse.  And I'm not talking about those teeny tiny ones that come in a box from the grocery store.  I'm talkin' about the KING SIZE monsters from the gas station.  I can eat those suckers like there is no tomorrow.  I had no motivation to get off of the couch watching OWN & contemplated joining a gym but didn't want to pay the $$ and then about 4 girls told me how effective this DVD is.  

So I bought some self tanner and the 30 day shred at Wal-Mart.  Let the challenge begin.  Why self tanner?  Not sure....I just wanted to be all fake tan when I got shredded.   

The workout is only 24 minutes but I swear to the good Lord that it feels like an hour.  I'm really excited to feel motivated again and hopefully this will get me into pre-wedding day shape.  And then I will dive my face into piles of Snickers Ice Cream bars for my entire honeymoon and live blissfully happy every after. 

Watch me. 

lunch date

what a lucky day. 
Andrew worked on a friend's field today that is close by my work.  Being the good American that I am, I scooped up food from both McDonalds and Wendy's and we found some shade under a big birch tree.  I tried out the new almond fruit chicken salad thing from Wendy's and it was pretty decent for a fast food salad.  It didn't look nearly as good as that stud next to me eating a quarter pounder with cheese and french fries.  

Then we (that means I) played a movie quoting game and Andrew couldn't guess the EASIEST movie quote ever.  

"if you're a bird, i'm a bird"

I've said that to him about a million times and made him recreate the scene if we are ever near ocean water.  He claims that he blacks out usually when I start to make him recreate movie scenes.  

then we had a sad goodbye and andrew jumped back on his tractor and I jumped back into my non air conditioned car and made the drive to work, sweaty back and all.

stay cool people. 

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

bears and mountains

I am back from the best staycation EVER.  I didn't have anything planned except for a loverly hike in the blue ridge mountains.    

We hiked to the top of Hawksbill Mountain, which happens to be the highest peak in the Shenandoah National Park.   It was a short but steep hike.  I kept up with my hike with Endomondo, a new little phone gadget that a friend recommended.  It records how many miles you have hiked.  It also tracks a host of workouts.  I'm getting so tech savy. :)  

OH, and just a little fashion tip for you guys:  Wearing crew hiking socks really highlights the stump look.  You know, where your legs & ankles look like they have no definition--just stumps.  hotness.  

This was my bug spray dance.  It was more exciting in person. 

Since this is my blog and you weren't on the hike with us (or were you???hrmmmmm) I can make up a story and tell you that I took this picture after a really tough hill and that's why I look so worn out.  But in reality I think this is just me sans makeup in the morning trying to force Andrew to take a picture with me.   

pretty pretty.  

So this isn't a picture I took.  Surprise.  BUT we did see a big black bear.  I was in front of Andrew going down a trail and I looked up and bear.  Right in front of me.  I swear it was 10 ft. away and very large.  Andrew's side of the story is that it was 50 ft. away and a teenager bear.  Whatev.  Believe who you want, this bear sighting was a little too close for comfort.  I wanted to take a picture but I was freaking out a little and just held my phone close to my chest waiting to have to use it as a weapon.  We hooted and hollar'd and the big guy ran away.  
Nevertheless I was super excited to see my first bear of the year!  It's good luck they say!  

Happy trails!

Monday, June 20, 2011

i curse when i hike

It's true.  I do.  
Sunday's hike was supposed to be "church" for me, so I hope that God forgave me for cursing while I went up the side of a dang mountain that liked to kill me.  (I was wondering when I could ever use that phrase...liked to kill me)

Andrew and I woke up fighting like brother and sister.  So we thought the only rational thing to do was to take it to the mountains and create some inner peace.

After I got over the steep passes I do believe I had some moments of Zen, interrupted only by the fact that we didn't have bug spray.  Bad call.

Here are some photos from our adventure to mountain land...

Out trip was slightly delayed when we need a tune up by our local mechanic/best future father in law Mr. Glenn Crummett.  What would we do without you Glenny?

Then we had two pups that were hell bent on going on a car ride to the mountains (lilly is in the passengers seat).  They might be spoiled...a little.  

Once we got water from the spring down the street we hit the road!  (ps.  this is the best water you will ever drink.  AND an old man told me it is a healing spring and I have physical evidence that it cleared up a bad case of planters warts on my feet.  These are just the facts people.)

Isn't this moss shot divine?  I told Andrew that I wish I had a little hobbit home in the mountains and all of the walls could be covered in moss. 

Do you see his mountain creature feet at the top?  He told me to stop saying cuss words and to smell the mountain laurels instead.  I chose to do both. 

woah mr. snake.  what's up?  We saw bear poo, no bears, and two snakes. 

This hike didn't have a look out per say, but this was a pretty little shot of the mountains once we were on top of the ridge. 

It was my first kick in the butt back into hiking/having any physical activity in my life other than flipping in between the OWN network and walking to my sad, lifeless food pantry.  We have another big hike on Thursday (My Friday starts at 12:00 Wednesday..woo hoo!!!)  Wish me luck! 

Sunday, June 19, 2011

happy father's day

My Dad

he's one of my favorite people to talk to
and one of my favorite people to laugh with.

he's the best.

and he can look fierce in a photo next to a bear in a Hawaiian shirt
love you :)

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Big hair and good friends

I had my HEN party last weekend!

I was surprised with a lake house at Smith Mountain Lake with some of my most favorite people in the entire world!  It was heaven.

(Our view of the lake)

We had dinner on Friday night and I got to wear the prettiest lace dress ever AND a white flower in my hair.

We spent the next day sunbathing on the dock and playing in the water.  A lake house at SML has been added to my lists of "wants".  Pretty please.  

After a few other surprises I was dolled up and ready to go to my final surprise destination.  Our cameras all broke so we had to use our phones.  I believe that this was somehow an act of God protecting me and my future children/husband.  I'll leave you with my Tanya Tucker big hair outfit that I danced the night away in!

(My lucky boots and T-shirt that everyone wore "What Would Valerie Do"!)

Girlfriend is not a spring chicken anymore and it took me two full days to recover.  I spent all day Monday on the couch napping with Olivia & my baby blanket.  Andrew must have snapped this on my phone .....

My girls did it up and did it RIGHT.  I loved every second.  THANK YOU for all the memories of (get ready for some inside jokes) 
"hot spots, mobile uploads, lisa ling, S n D's, my people, America, mullets, and hair feathers"

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Cat time

I have an insatiable desire to title every post I write


This desire also arrises when I am on the blue and white land of Facebook.

It's all I think of when I see that little box.

WHAT'S NEW PUSSYCAT?  And I sing it in my head when I imagine writing it.

And speaking of cats and what's new with them.....

Olivia bit my hand quite hard this past weekend.  I am now ready to talk about it (unless you saw me in person and I put my hand in your face immediately and started telling the traumatic story)  But like my Dad always told me, when you have a great cat story in the palm of your hands you must tell the world.  The world.  And the world wide web. 

I was brushing Olivia on Saturday morning.  The sun was filtering through the window and we were sipping our coffee about to start our day.  

Olivia looked like she need a good brushin'.  So I grabbed my hair comb (we share, and it's okay to judge me.  I was also once caught bathing with Olivia by a roomate who shall remain nameless.)  In normal cat fashion she was all into it.  Her butt was in the air and she was lovin' some brushin'.  

Then a cold wind swept through the room.  A cloud rolled over the bright sun and darkness fell upon us.  Olivia got that look in her eyes.  That look that says, "I'm 'bout to EAT YO HAND MOTHER *&*(&.  ( I apologize for her vulgar mouth.  But that was the human translation to her facial expression)

I put my feet up in the chair an assumed position.  We've been down this road before a time or two.  Andrew stood by murmuring the school yard "ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh.  you're gonna get ittttttttttt".

No way.  Baby cat loves me fool.  

But little did I know that baby cat had transformed into KILLER cat.  

I mistakenly put my hand back down in front of her.  The killer claws came out and latched to my hand.  Her saber tooth teeth sunk into my hand.  

This was the bloody Sunday (er Saturday) aftermath.  

 I know.  It's hard to look at.  

Andrew went after Olivia with a small wooden American Flag.  Don't tread on us. 

She stood eating her food in her bowl and did not move and inch or stop eating while Andrew gave her a good whack.  Cat has some meat on her bones. 

As her mother, I instantly forgave my child and blamed it on her feral upbringing before I took over. 

Then I started to swell up.  

 And I ended up getting meds at Rite Aid for my animal attack bite. 

We are all on the path to healing, one day at a time.

And that's what's new pussycat. 

Monday, June 6, 2011

He's the kinda good...

that stops to actually pick up the litter.
(while I just walked by and said mean things in my head.....)

Let's all take notes.   

Thanks for keeping Wise County clean, dear.

  (pictures at Powell Valley Overlook)

Reasons I will Travel

Light sabers and snuggles.  I will always travel for lightsabers and snuggles from these two boys. 

I love being an Aunt.  :)
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