big black box

We don't have a t.v. I mean, we have a TV but no channels. So we watch a lot of DVD's and I beat Andrew in the Wii 3 point shoot-out a lot (I have the ranking high score---what now basketball star?). I want you all to close your eyes and imagine sitting with you partner, BFF, after work with no TV. Sure, for like, a week, I felt all good about our decision (it's mainly a money saver) but then you start to realize HOW HARD IT IS TO JUST SIT with another person in the room without the TV to serve as a third party.

So here are some things that we do to pass the time:

*play board games
*listen to NPR
*read
*go to separate rooms so I can practice/he can play Wii/get away from each other
*talk about the day
*eat food and stare at each other
*get on the black hole that is facebook and have andrew read over my shoulder (but yet he hates FB.....denial, boo, you are in denial.)
*talk to our animals like they are real people
*look at the stack of DVD's that we have watched 100x already and get into a fight when I am forced to watch "Oceans 12" for the 12 millionth time.
*poke each other in the face
*talk about working out but not really do it

Look how interesting my life is!!!!!! I swear we really are in love with each other. I think that all couples should go tv free for a bit of time before the big W day. Maybe not to this insane extent but it definitely makes you closer and prepares you for being with that person non-stop FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.
*dum, dum, dum* Cue scary music.

But I wouldn't take back our super close time together. It's special/torturous in all the best of ways.

big black box

We don't have a t.v. I mean, we have a TV but no channels. So we watch a lot of DVD's and I beat Andrew in the Wii 3 point shoot-out a lot (I have the ranking high score---what now basketball star?). I want you all to close your eyes and imagine sitting with you partner, BFF, after work with no TV. Sure, for like, a week, I felt all good about our decision (it's mainly a money saver) but then you start to realize HOW HARD IT IS TO JUST SIT with another person in the room without the TV to serve as a third party.

So here are some things that we do to pass the time:

*play board games
*listen to NPR
*read
*go to separate rooms so I can practice/he can play Wii/get away from each other
*talk about the day
*eat food and stare at each other
*get on the black hole that is facebook and have andrew read over my shoulder (but yet he hates FB.....denial, boo, you are in denial.)
*talk to our animals like they are real people
*look at the stack of DVD's that we have watched 100x already and get into a fight when I am forced to watch "Oceans 12" for the 12 millionth time.
*poke each other in the face
*talk about working out but not really do it

Look how interesting my life is!!!!!! I swear we really are in love with each other. I think that all couples should go tv free for a bit of time before the big W day. Maybe not to this insane extent but it definitely makes you closer and prepares you for being with that person non-stop FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.
*dum, dum, dum* Cue scary music.

But I wouldn't take back our super close time together. It's special/torturous in all the best of ways.

3X3X365

my friends have a new blog project and I think it is wonderful. You should check it out. :)

http://3x3x365.blogspot.com/

yay for the middle of the week!

The month I can't spell!!!!

HELLO FEBUARY! I mean, February. Thank goodness we got that whole January mess over with.
February, treat me right baby, treat me right.

I'm out of the depths of despair. For reals. But I have found myself super busy. My days have somehow stretched from 6:30 a.m. to about an average of 7:00 p.m. That's a long time away from the farm....and I don't like it. BUT it's for good reasons and at least it is keeping me busy during the dark days of winter.

Not much else has changed on the home front, but Olivia has decided that she wants to lounge on the counter top--which she has never been allowed to do before. She is a persistent booger. But we figured out why she keeps getting up there.

HANK. The barn cat is creeping up to the window and making goo-goo love eyes at our Olivia. Hankerpants, as I affectionately refer to him as, watch it. Olivia might have a whole lotta lovin' to go around---but you are a barn cat. She, is a well-bred, long haired, sassy pants machine. We just can't have any messin' around going on.

Hank (Hankerpants)- Barn cat/Olivia stalker

Happy Febuary.

feet and such

I am officially on my way to being a stage mother.

Last night was my first game as "coach". I nervously sat each girl down in-between practicing cheers and tied huge white bows in their hair. I bent down to pick something up and got a little whiff of something special. My Secret was not being so secretive. I was sweating bullets.

I watched the clock tick down before quarters and made sure they were ready to go out.

"okay. now remember to start slow. take a big, deep, breathe. And smile. Don't forget to smile. And......"

I stopped myself because their eyes were starting to glaze over.

The buzzer went off and I scurried across the floor in my work heels to the middle row of bleachers. Front row. I neurotically sat bobbing my head, smiling like a banchee, and standing up clapping furiously after they finished.

I am so proud of these little chickadees.

As I sat back down, I took a look at my feet. Probably because they were screaming at me. And I thought to myself, How did I get here? I used to be one of them...not so long ago. And now here I am with my feet smushed into shoes that make my toes feel all cramped up like the back pew in church. (Baptist, of course.)

Life just flies by, doesn't it?

I came home to a toasty little trailer filled with two farm dogs, one cat, and one boy. He pulled my toes apart (TMI? never.) and I sat on the couch, listening to this over and over. And then we talked about how big my feet are and Andrew tried to convince me that if he didn't have a crazy long 2nd toe, that my feet would be bigger.

I would just like to state for the record, that my big toe is about a half of an inch shorter than his. (even though it doesn't look it in this picture)

and as I sat there, soaking in my work day that lasted from 7:30 a.m. to 8:30 p.m., I thought to myself, here you are.

Here you are.

Here you are.

And I smiled, 'cause my heart feels pretty full right about now.

a gift

A Mr. Rogers Song

what do you do with the mad that you feel?
when you feel so mad you could bite
when the whole wide world seems oh so wrong and nothing you do seems very right
what do you do?
do you punch a bag, do you pound some clay or some dough, do you round up friends for a game of tag or see how fast you go?
it's great to be able to stop when you planned a thing that's wrong and be able to do something else instead and think this song.
i can stop when i want to
i can stop when i wish
i can stop stop stop anytime
and what a good feeling to feel like this and know that the feeling is really mine.
know that there's something deep inside that helps us becomes what we can
for a girl can be someday a lady and boy can be someday a man.

(If you have 7 minutes, you should listen to this. )

A few weeks ago, I was taking pictures during a middle school geography bee at the school that I work at. It was down to the final two-a boy and a girl. Everything slowed down at that last question. The judges announced that he had won and I snapped a picture. I watched through the lens as the small girl lowered her head and alligator tears began to flow. Her entire face looked like the world was crashing down. The amount of pressure that she had put on herself was heartbreaking to watch--because I knew that I was that girl.

When did we start? Were we 11? 7? 5? When did we start beating ourselves up for not being good enough?

Just like Mr. Rogers said, we can stop.

I guess I have been really taking a look at patterns that I have created in my life and I'm ready to break them.

Won't you stick around to help me? Thanks.

make it beautiful

In light of all of the negative activity going on in my brain right now (I'm planning on somewhat trying to sort this out shortly....) I have to send out this light of love to anyone that I can.

Everyone should have a Priscilla in their life. How did I go this far without one? I don't know. But having her 3 miles down the road from me is like a little gift from God.

Her blog is called Make it Beautiful. Right now she is campaigning to bring happiness into the world through these two little girls.

I dare you not to tear up.

So just give a little. I stopped feeling sorry for myself as soon as I read their story....try it out. :)