Wednesday, January 19, 2011

a gift

A Mr. Rogers Song

what do you do with the mad that you feel?
when you feel so mad you could bite
when the whole wide world seems oh so wrong and nothing you do seems very right
what do you do?
do you punch a bag, do you pound some clay or some dough, do you round up friends for a game of tag or see how fast you go?
it's great to be able to stop when you planned a thing that's wrong and be able to do something else instead and think this song.
i can stop when i want to
i can stop when i wish
i can stop stop stop anytime
and what a good feeling to feel like this and know that the feeling is really mine.
know that there's something deep inside that helps us becomes what we can
for a girl can be someday a lady and boy can be someday a man.

(If you have 7 minutes, you should listen to this. )

A few weeks ago, I was taking pictures during a middle school geography bee at the school that I work at. It was down to the final two-a boy and a girl. Everything slowed down at that last question. The judges announced that he had won and I snapped a picture. I watched through the lens as the small girl lowered her head and alligator tears began to flow. Her entire face looked like the world was crashing down. The amount of pressure that she had put on herself was heartbreaking to watch--because I knew that I was that girl.

When did we start? Were we 11? 7? 5? When did we start beating ourselves up for not being good enough?

Just like Mr. Rogers said, we can stop.

I guess I have been really taking a look at patterns that I have created in my life and I'm ready to break them.

Won't you stick around to help me? Thanks.


PJH said...

I love that song. It is so simple and true. Let's break the patterns together! Amen to Brene Brown b/c I know she can help us! "Grace means that there is nothing we can do to make God love us MORE. And grace means there is nothing we can do to make God love us LESS." He thinks we are perfect just the way we are...and so should we! Amen sista!

Amber said...

If it helps at all, I remember Valerie at 11 as a very pretty, very fun girl with a beautiful singing voice, while at the time I was beating myself up for not being able to sing as well as I could talk. It's crazy how early it begins, and hard to tell where it comes from.

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