Monday, April 2, 2012

On eating and dreams...

I stayed on the farm almost the entire weekend.  One trip to the big city to drop off a load of wood, hit up Starbucks and then to our new, fancy, remodeled Food Lion. 

I'm back in concrete walls and feeling a bit like they are closing in.  

One of the chores this weekend was to switch out the mares and guildings in the field each morning.  After having a full day and night on the fields the horses are exhausted.  They eat almost 18 hours a day, a feat that I cannot even touch, and when they get back in the stall, they are so very tired.  Sometimes they just pass out right there on the field.  (see photo above)

I felt like that horse this morning.  Except instead of being exhausted from eating (that happens too) I'm exhausted from thinking about all of the things I want to do.

I have this feeling under control more, treating it more like an old friend that creeps up on me from time to time. 

"Oh hey, you.  You're back.  Ready to make me feel like life is blowing me by and I still haven't accomplished X,Y, & Z?  I know, I know.  Chill out, relax.  I'll try and enjoy your stay"

(that was a conversation that I just had on my blog, from my brain, to myself.  deep.)

But it sits there, on my chest, and I know I just have to make lists of the things I am doing and wait for it to pass.  The older I get I realize more and more how I will probably always feel this way, and that is okay, I guess it means that I have one too many goals and dreams. 

And hey, I'd rather be a dreamer anyways.


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