a tiny goodbye.

i'm going to clear my mind for a bit. a small internet machine detox.

thanks for reading my little blog and being so lovely.

not sure if this chapter is closed or not but it is a darn good chapter.

i just have to focus on some really great things going on right now. I don't want to pass them by. :)

xoxo.

POST EDIT: 1/18: I am a little dramatic. I think I just had a bad night and felt like things would calm down in my life if I put social media on hold. And a little of that is true. I'll be back really soon. :) (like probably in an embarrassingly short amount of time)

let's break up all this self help talk, shall we?

kitty-snake found here.

:) Happy Monday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

falling and flying

image source ?

i said sometimes i just want to stay in bed all day, watching t.v. by myself.
alone.
he laughed and said me too.
and I laid beside a boy that is a man who will soon be my husband.
he said talk to me,
and so I did.
my face felt raw, like opening my mouth somehow exposed the worlds that are living upstairs.
it almost felt wrong.
but then the boy that is a man who will soon be my husband saw me,
and said it's okay.
and he did not look away.
and I knew I was safe.

Cheerios

This week was in one word..

wildcrazyohmygodwasitevergoingtoend.

I think I need a list to get started.

1. My mom is in town. I came home to a kitchen filled with gravy smothered pork chops last night. Heaven. Can she just come move in? Please?

2. It was cold as balls here all week. I've never understood that phrase....but it was darn cold.

3. I maybe got the tub of Neapolitan ice cream out the other night and ate half of it. Then I woke up the next morning at 5 am tenderly hugging the toilet. Why do I do this to myself? Just face it girl, you can't eat dairy.

4. My mom is going to see me in my wedding dress for the first time tomorrow morning! AHH!! yay!

5. I am now, Coach McQueen. The Varsity cheerleading coach at school had a leave of absence, and when my boss came in worried about how to fill the position for the next 5 weeks---I just couldn't contain myself.

"I WAS CAPTAIN OF MY CHEERLEADING SQUAD AND CHEERED ALL THROUGH HIGH SCHOOL. I'LL DO IT!"

It just came out. I couldn't stop the words coming from my mouth. So now, I am working with a lovely group of 13 High School students.

It's pretty cool. I'll keep you updated. It should be a wild ride for the next 5 weeks.

And of course, I am channeling Sue Sylvester. I am waiting for UPS to deliver my track suit any day now.

Happy Friday Folks!

one year

"for whither thou goest, I will go, and where thou lodgest, I will lodge. thy people shall be my people, and thy God my God."

Ruth 1:16

i love you a bushel and a peck.

Saturday Morning

it's cold outside.

thankfully the wood stove beside me is rolling with heat, crackling and popping in the silence of morning.

i sit alone, looking out the window.

i nervously think in my mind what i should be doing.

shouldn't i be cooking breakfast?

shouldn't i be preparing for my trip later today?

the dogs start barking outside, an act that on most mornings fills my chest with anxiety at each bark.

so i sit.

and listen.

and breath the cold air up my nose and slowly out.

and turned down the volume of my mind.

and that one moment became beautiful, peaceful.

i'm working on filling my days with these.

one at a time.

(i also find peace while eating biscuits and gravy too, just in case you were wondering...)

breathing today.

image found here.

Normal day, let me be aware of the treasure you are… Let me not pass you by in quest of some rare and perfect Tomorrow. One day I shall dig my nails into the earth, or bury my face in my pillow, or stretch myself taut, or raise my hands to the sky and want, more than all the world, your return.

- Mary Jean Iron


Finding it a little hard to breathe easy today.
but that's okay. it is.
Because I will take today, breath by breath and not let this Monday pass me by in hopes of something bigger or better.
One of my New Year's Resolution was to be kinder to myself. To put my own hand over my heart and say, "it's okay. you are okay. you are enough."

Here is my first chance.

love.