eyes on the prize

I took this video last week and now I am looking up baby gates to replace my rigged up screen gates because this girl is everywhere.  She's figured out how to pull herself up on her own if I leave anything out that is her size so we are also dealing with some bumps on the head.  She's on the move and ready.

I'm not.  

Eyes on the Prize from Valerie McQueen on Vimeo.

you go girl

It's okay.

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I might need to look at this from time to time and now so can you.

you're welcome.

who wouldn't want me to be their mom?

Planting the Placenta Tree

I thawed out her placenta a few days ago (or is it mine?  who has ownership here?) and decided that today was the day to plant it!  That and it was really starting to gross me out in the fridge and this is something you do not procrastinate once thawed out.  My mom got me a wisteria tree for Mother's Day and we finally planted it and had our little family ceremony.  Andrew placed it in the hole muttering, "I hope you know how much I love you Valerie, you weird hippie."  Yes.  This is love.  Placenta love and we may have color coordinated our outfits just for fun.

 *a praying mantis was chillin' on her tree.  I think it's a sign. *

I really loved that we saved the placenta.  It felt special planting a tree to watch grow with her and to know that it will be here beside our little home where she is growing up means a lot to us.  We said a little prayer over the tree and spent the rest of the day outside enjoying this cool weather (in a Virginia August?).  Yes, it was a lovely day.  

Need more reading?  Here are some other things you can do with your placenta.   

date night

 Those are bacon, apple, and brie sandwiches (the best sandwich ever?)

 blinded by the white

North River Gorge at sunset

photo taken after wine & happiness was consumed.

Last week my mom watched Ev while Andrew and I went on our first solo date in 5 months.  I didn't want to go.  Is that bad to say out loud?  Well, I didn't.  I was tired.  I was cranky and stressed.  We planned a date on a budget to the mountains for a small hike, sandwiches, and a bottle of wine.  This all sounded fine and dandy until that evening when we were trying to get ready.  It wasn't about leaving Ev, it was just about getting our shiz together enough to walk out the door.  I dragged my feet and plopped down in our old volvo station wagon with the crankiest face I could muster.  We made our way through the valley backroads and bit by bit I felt my chest getting lighter.  We hiked to a little spot that has a hanging bridge and since it was so late at night and there weren't any other hikers on the trail, we set up our picnic right there over the river.  It was magical and one of the best dates we have ever been on.  We sat and talked about getting caught up in this wild life with a 5 month old and a farm but how incredibly lucky we are to be here living our dreams.  I forget that most days.

It's important to get away and take a breath.  And I highly recommend doing it over a bridge with your best friend.  

p.s.  and when that said best friend and baby daddy eats all but 3 pieces of the POUND of bacon that you fried earlier for your bacon, apple, and brie sandwiches that you are making for the said special date and you realize you are screaming at each other over bacon????  It is clear that you are in need of date night.  ;)

tennis bear vs. me

I got back from a weekend family trip to New Jersey on Monday.  Andrew couldn't make the trip so I was on my own, along with the helping hands of family.  I think I bit off a little more than I could chew going solo, but I do feel like I came out feeling like more of a mother than I was telling myself.  The second night we were there I had finally nursed Ev to sleep and I was sitting on the floor with a tiny light to read by and she started to cry.  I used all my tricks in my bag to get her to sleep before scooping her up and starting to sway side to side. 

I need this right now.  I need this right now, baby girl.  I need this.   Please go back to sleep so I can read and just have silence.

I pleaded.  Hard.  

At the same time I realized I was staring at the tennis playing bear picture that has been hanging in my Grandmother's guest room for my entire 29 years.  Back and forth I rocked looking at that bear, silently pleading with my baby to go to sleep.  I knew I would give out soon physically from lunging with my little 17 lb baby but I suddenly started to feel like the tennis bear was taunting me.  Those balled up fist, beady eyes, and scowl face.  He wanted to take me on.  I kept on my side of the court, swiveling side to side.  

I will win bear.

I will win.

She started to feel like she was getting heavy again.  She was almost there.

The bear gave up and/or Ev fell back asleep and I placed in her the springy bed with a fortress of pillows surrounding her.   

This week has put me face to face with that bear more than once.  It has been mentally tough and one of those weeks where you just keep saying "what else do you got for me life?".  But the bear won't win.  We'll keep on keepin' on and I will win.
  

The Royal Birth-- We understand

My mom is in town and is obsessed with the Royals so we have watched 24 hour coverage of this event on the news.  Since we live at the Kingdom of Traiylor, I feel like I can understand what Will & Kate must be going through.  But on the real, it is fun to relive what those first few days felt like.  I have never been on such a high in my life.  The endorphins were pumping through my veins and I couldn't stop smiling for 2 days, I swear.  It was the best.  Almost makes me want to do it again.  

Scratch that.  

I haven't slept in 5 months.  I'm talking crazy.  How do people have more than one baby?  Talk to me in a few years or hold my hand while I cry if we have a "surprise" before then.  I bow down to any woman that does this more than once.  

congrats new parents!

p.s.  Andrew wants me to assure everyone that he does not hate me and apologizes for his dirty mouth and oversharing wife.