a to do list of sorts

Maybe it is being in the midst of winter or waiting around for this baby to come, but all I can think about are things that I want to do this year.  

bee keeping

 source

We plan on getting a hive or two this year and starting a journey of bee keeping.  I find bees both fascinating and scary.  They have always been the one insect that I am afraid of.  But I love fresh honey.  I'm excited to see if this happens!

cross stitch/knitting

So this is a new hobby that I have already started.  I needed something to do with my hands while I rested at home so I've been teaching myself how to cross stitch.  Once I start I can't stop so hopefully I will keep this up.  I also really want to take up crochet/knitting. 

soap making

 source

I would love to learn how to make my own soap using herbs from the garden.  I've been reading some blogs that outline it in detail so I think I am going to give it a shot and see what I come up with.

canning

  source

Canning is a MUST this year.  We plan to double the size of our garden and can as much as we can (ha) for the year.  I grew up watching my mamaw and mom can so I think I've got it in my blood.  I just need to go for it.  

bread baking

 source   

I love homemade bread.  I even love the long process of making it.  There is just something different about eating bread that you made yourself.  You appreciate it so much more.  I hope to bake as much bread as I can in 2013. 

write, play, love

  

"Your heart sings like a kettle
And your words, they boil away like steam"

swoon.  I love the lyrics in this song.
Oh my music goals.  Always highs and lows.  I haven't been as dedicated to songwriting or practicing during the pregnancy but I hope to make the space after the baby comes and I am not tied down to hours in an office.  I want to fall in love with songwriting again and pick up my guitar more often.  I want to play out for the right reasons---the love of it all.  I want to record an EP.  I want to get a music website up and going.

Okay.  Now my head is spinning.




Let's check back in Jan. 2014 and see how all of this panned out, shall we?  

two thousand twenty twelve

12:00 a.m., New Years Day.  Pimp ass entertainment system pictured in back of photo along with 30 lb weights that keep our door from flying open.

What has this year meant to me?  I've been thinking about this all morning.  We humans tend to do that on Jan. 1 of any year.  I thought back on the beginning of last year and I can't really remember anything.  I remember the winter being long and hard as it usually seems to be.  The wedding was over.  Cold had set in.  We were trying for a baby and it wasn't happening.  I slowly found my way back into a *funk*.  

I remember May and feeling the layers peal off bit by bit as spring arrived.  Andrew and I sat down and  discussed not putting pressure on ourselves to conceive.  No more looking at the calendar and feeling that monthly disappointment.  Let's just wait, we said.  Things are starting to look up and heck, we could try and save some more money, drink some more beer, and take a wild trip somewhere.  

Guess what happened the month we stopped "trying".  

2012 has made me look at my body in wonder.  I no longer look at my body as sexy, and I don't mean that in a negative way.  I grew up and realize that my body is so much more than just a size or shape that fit some idealistic image of what would please myself and my husband.  It became this vessel, stretching and reforming to carry life.  Although I couldn't appreciate it in the moment most of the time because I felt so sick, I am in awe of the process.  Look at what I (we) have created.

I am 33 weeks pregnant.  I feel her move more than ever now.  Andrew interacts with her everyday.  She surely will know who he is when she looks into his eyes.  I worry and pray that she is healthy and that I have done a good job taking care of her.  They say this is just the start of a mother's worry.  

2013 will be one of the most transformative years of our lives.  I sit in our *almost* finished nursery and stare at her crib.  I look at my body in the mirror and continue to watch it prepare itself automatically for her arrival.  It is such an out of body experience.  I think I have said that before but I don't know another way to put it.  

2013 will be the year I watch our hearts grow.

2013 will be the year that our patience is tested.

2013 will be the year that I live in the moment.  

2013 will be the year we become a mother and father.

Blessings, love, and light to everyone in the new year!   

ps.  2013 will also be the year that I:

*spend more time with friends

*keep up with laundry

*quit biting my nails FOR GOOD

*stay healthy and active

*post too many photos of my belly & baby (#sorryimnotsorry)

*stop reading trashy websites (wait..that's too hard...must.resist.internet.gossip)