bits and pieces

Happy Friday Cat Post!!!

2011-11-11T06:50:00.000-08:00

I am dying to get my arse in gear and put together a wedding post....but that will take some time and work and well, it doesn't help that Staples called and told me my computer has 9 different viruses on it. Oppsy.

So I leave you on this chilly Friday with none other than a cat post!!!!

Remember that little fur ball Little Bit that came into our lives? He is growing up to be quite a handful. He dominates the house and the other animals (yes, even Olivia. He tackles her everyday and we now have to feed her seperatly because he refuses to let her eat out of her bowl. A 3 lb kitten is destroying the life of my 25 lb cat)

He is spoiled. Rotten. And he needs to have his balls chopped off...like NOW. Maybe that will calm him down.

I saw this video on FB and it perfectly depicts what happens EVERY.SINGLE.MORNING. in bed.

Just sub the baseball bat for Lil' B biting our faces.

Exhibit A.

ouch. what happened to my sweet little kitten?

(& why do I have Angelina Jolie lips in this pic?)

tootles!

You Swept Me Away

2011-11-01T11:36:00.000-07:00

V+A = Love: The Crummet Wedding from Danielle Sands on Vimeo.

One of my bridesmaids made this video from the wedding day on her Iphone. I love, love, love it.

Wedding Bliss!

2011-10-24T09:22:00.000-07:00

It came, happened all to fast, and now we are basking in the glory of a beautiful wedding and honeymoon. I have so much I want to share about that weekend and more, but for now, life is calling and needs me to catch up.

So much love goes out to our friends and family who made this day a dream come true!

I want to marry you

2011-09-26T08:06:00.000-07:00

I wonder if Andrew ever feels this way?

Let's hope not.

;)

my cup runneth over

2011-09-25T18:31:00.000-07:00

I don't think I could have ever been prepared for the amount of love that this wedding has brought into my life--into our lives. Yesterday, friends and family showered me with the most thoughtful presents. I think I finally have a fully outfitted kitchen now. There was a vintage theme (love) and I couldn't stop smiling the entire time. My friend Katie even made me an apron. How adorable is that?

No. No one can prepare you for this feeling. Everyone prepares you for the stress...but the love---all this love has been a hidden surprise.

Oh! My Mama

2011-09-07T07:49:00.000-07:00

I had an entire post laid out in my head. And then my phone decided it didn't want to send any pictures to my email.

So I will have to hold onto my thoughts (scary) and leave you with a song that I have listened to over and over the past two days.

xoxo

there is only one of you in all time

2011-08-29T06:57:00.000-07:00

"There is a vitality, a life force, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and there is only one of you in all time, this expression is unique, and if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium; and be lost. The world will not have it. It is not your business to determine how good it is, not how it compares with other expression. It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open. You do not even have to believe in yourself or your work. You have to keep open and aware directly to the urges that motivate you. Keep the channel open. No artist is pleased. There is no satisfaction whatever at any time. There is on a queer, divine dissatisfaction, a blessed unrest that keeps us marching and makes us more alive than the others."

Martha Graham

did you hear about the earthquake?

2011-08-24T11:39:00.000-07:00

via here and lots of people's facebook

Where were you when Virginia stopped turning, that August day? Okay..bad joke. South Park ruined that song for me anyways. (and no, it is never my choice to watch South Park...someone else that I live with whose name rhymes with Mandrew is a wee bit obsessed)

I can't wait to be old and crotchety and get to tell my grandbabies about the earthquake that rocked our world.

And what's up with people not letting us easterners have our moment in earthquake glory. Why do people puff up and want to play "i've had it worse"....ah. who knows. some strange sociological phenomenon that I can ponder on for the week.

the wants. a post to myself.

2011-08-23T09:51:00.000-07:00

You know what always happens to me in the fall? I get the wants. I'm sure it has to do with marketing strategies but I also still cling to the idea that I can "start over" with the new school year. And now that I work in a school, I reallllly have an itch for it.

So this is a post to myself. To remind myself that you have had the gimmies a lot in life and none of those dear objects will, as you usually say when you are throwing a temper tantrum, "going to make my life easier/better/organized/put together"

My first gimmie that I can remember was a Poly Pocket.

I can remember wanting one soooo bad and I just KNEW that when I got a Polly Pocket my life would be better. I would be entertained for hours and I would be able to whip mine out at friends house and show them that I, too, was cool enough for Polly.

Except....I have big hands and it was really difficult for me to place Polly in the .5mm chair she was supposed to sit in. I'm pretty sure I ditched Polly after a few days.

My next gimmie was a Jacksonville Jaguars Starter Jacket. This was in 5th grade. I don't know why...but this was the thing I just HAD to have. I remember begging my parents for one. And I knew, I just KNEW that when I got one and wore it around school I would instantly have more friends.

Well......that never really panned out for me. I just looked like a skinny white girl with freckles wearing a huge starter jacket. I think I lost friends with this one.

My next gimmie was a 17th Street Surf Shop t-shirt. By then I was in middle school and mixed in with the oh so cool beach kids. I just knew, if I had one of those shirts everyone would think I was super cool and not living down the road in military housing playing in dumpsters (true story).

welp..we all can guess how that went over as well.

High School came around and that was an era full of "oh my god, if I could just have a CKone sweatshirt or all of my clothes from Abercrombie and Fitch life would be AMAZING". yeah...it didn't get too amazing.

College was a sea of gimmies. I was a fish out of water. I was still hoping to snag a CKone shirt and these girls were dripping in David Yurman, Tiffanys, and Lily Pulitzer.

I knew I didn't stand a chance. So I drowned my sorrows in pizza, beer, and a good extra 20lbs by senior year.

Needless to say, I have been playing this game with myself for a long time. Since moving to the farm and getting out of any type of "scene" I realize how happy I am with so little and my favorite place to shop is vintage stores and goodwill.

But. There are days. There are days when I have a temper tantrum because, well, dammit, I just want to have pretty molding and expensive rugs and drapes and pictures on the walls and kitchen floors without lighting bolts going through them. My wants have matured into adult wants....but they are wants all the same.

The gimmies. They always getcha, don't they?

Right now I feel like the only way I can succeed in life is if I have the following:

an "I am smart and organized" brown leather bag.

Entire wardrobe from B.R.

They never stop. The dishes just never stop.

I would be so cool, hip, and on top of my shiz with this.

hours are spent dreaming of a new camera. *sigh*

But guess what self, you would probably get all these new gadgets and LIFE WOULDN'T BE BETTER!

So take a lesson from your own book and stop the wants. And as mom would say, "it's the inside that counts"

(but I kinda sorta feel like life would change with an ipad---just sayin')

sweating less

2011-08-18T12:31:00.000-07:00

This piece of art made me do one of those silent giggles at my desk....but enough of a giggle where you are just making that weird throat noise.

Wanna hear some good news?!

1. My invitations are printed and assembly is ready. I'm in love. They came together so much better than I imagined! (sneak peek as soon as I mail!)

2. We are going to see GILLIAN WELCH tonight. I am excited for two reasons: one, I get a date night in the middle of the week, and two, I am in LOVE with Gillian.

3. My mom is coming into town this weekend!

4. I'm sweating less! Yes, Virginia is cooling down.

see ya later

people of the world! happy friday!

2011-08-12T06:00:00.000-07:00

This weekend I will be swimming laps in this ocean pool...

(found via thedailymuse via thelittlesthings)

I kid.

That pool is actually my worst nightmare. Even though I grew up at the beach, my heart has always been for the mountains. I don't like sand getting everywhere or getting super hot or having to slather on SPF every 5 minutes (let's go Irish) or getting killed and attacked by sea creatures. And waves are the most frightening thing ever...like that one in the picture that looks like it could rip you from the ocean pool.

Give me a mountain pool any day of the week. Heck..just give me a creek.

I am headed to my best friends baby shower this weekend!!!! I cannot wait to see her and that belly. This is my first best friend having a baby...and it is so exciting/scary. I am just glad she is going first so she can tell me the Gods honest truth on what to expect. Every rip and tear. (ouch..too much?) Is that selfish? maybe...

I am in charge of planning the games/schedule of the shower. I thought I was really funny when I told her that we were playing a modified twister game, but only using our hands on her belly. Note to future non-preggars planners out there: do not joke about worst case scenario baby games to your pregnant friend. She loves me...but she thought I was serious and now we are just laughin' and laughin' over it. (or maybe I just still am?)

The one baby game that I am insisting we play is "who's water is gonna break?" . So you put a tiny plastic baby in an icecube tray (yes, at Michaels yesterday I had to specifically ask where their tiny plastic babies were) and then you put one ice cube baby in each drink and whoevers ice cube melts first to release the baby wins a prize!

Tell me that isn't the creepiest/greatest game ever? I'll tell you how it goes over---might just be me giggling in a corner.

OH and one last thing. I will be singing this Sunday for a very good cause. "Music For MaDee" is an event presented by the MaDee Project, a project developed in memory of MaDee Boxler to assist pediatric cancer patients in Virginia. I will be singing at 5:00 and there will be food, vendors, and my favorite featherhead will be there feathering and selling some of her awesome jewelry. Come on out!!!!

boots and bit

2011-08-11T06:32:00.000-07:00

Excuse my blurry camera phone pics. Olivia is getting used to Lil' Bit (seems that is the name that has stuck...maybe until he the size of our other 20 lb cat). But only sorta. She has come out of her corner and now allows LB to be in the same room as her. She even got up on the couch while Andrew was holding her. But as you can see from the picture, she still has that "I swear, if you get close to me, I will break some ass up in here" look on her face 24/7.

Happy Thursday....almost Friday!

trust me.

2011-08-10T08:17:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was such a good day.

A "pinch me" day.

I felt alive and happy.

I even got to sing for some sweet souls yesterday and then took a car ride through the valley where I took this picture.

yes, yesterday I had it all together.

and then at 1:00 am I woke up in a panic.

I had forgotten to call my Dad on his birthday.

The kitten woke up shortly after and I had to put my worries aside to feed him, trying (and failing) not to be angry at his growing belly.

little sleep was had.

And this morning before work, while calling my Dad to apologize--to make up for that missed phone call--I felt myself crumple up inside. I cried one of those "ugly face" cries.

I felt someone rubbing my wet, stringy hair, telling me it was okay and then he played our favorite Maya Angelou interview on the television so I could walk out of the door, puffy faced, but trying to make my world a better place.

we are human beings.

we stand up and then fall
over and over
in a course of a lifetime.
we laugh and then we cry
over and over
in a course of a lifetime.

we suffer
over and over.
we pour out joy
over and over.

we are tides
coming in
going out
smooth at sea one day
swells and spray the next.

we search
over and over
for the meaning of it all.
and just when we think we have found it
we lose it
over and over.

what keeps us turning?
what keeps us searching?
I don't know the answer.
But I feel the answer.
Inside of me. Scratching to escape.
Quietly whispering, trust me.

trust me.

trust in me.

at times it screams through my body.
taking forms of sickness or disease.
but when I listen, the calm begins.

trust me.

trust in me.

i have felt like an octopus,
tentacles radically reaching out
from the stem of my body
grasping at what it can hold onto to feed.

and then a little voice says

trust me.

trust in me.

lay your hand on your heart, on your stomach.
lean into each breath
you are good, child.
you are good.

trust me .

Scenes from another trailer

2011-08-09T07:14:00.000-07:00

"If you wanna live to see tomorrow You better start fryin' them eggs a little bit better then what you been fryin' them. I'm tired of eating sloppy, slimey eggs."

Marriage is tough. I haven't even officially entered into it yet and I know this. Good thing we have friends like Jesco White to set us straight. And if you were wondering if he was up for grabs again ladies.....alas, he just got married.

inspirational posters make me happy.

2011-08-08T11:47:00.000-07:00

Grabbed this from a friends FB wall.

And on this Monday my dears, I like it. I like it a lot.

a new lil' one and elephantiasis

2011-08-05T06:56:00.000-07:00

Some of you have seen on facebook that we have a new addition to the family. A little baby kitten was left on the farm with no mom in sight....until I came around.

Andrew called me and said, "I have a present for you. Guess what it is? It's something you probably never thought I would give you"

New floors for the love trailer?

You cleaned the hair out of the drain?

You fixed the front door so we don't have to pick it up with both hands on the handle and shift it into place?

You built me a deck?

Cleaned out my car?

after my series of secret chores that I wish he would surprise me with he finally let the cat out of the bag. (there's a knee slapper for you)

A new baby kitten for me to nurse back to health!!! dreams do come true.

This little girl/guy is melting my heart. And Andrew's. I almost cried when I first saw it because I just think it is so sad that it doesn't have a mom or brothers and sisters to play with. It looked up at me with those little crusty kitty eyes and said, "are you my mom?" just like Babe the pig did to the sheep dog in the barn.

(i love this movie and will admit that I own the soundtrack.)

So my days and nights have revolved around the lil' one lately. We are bottle feeding it and wiping it down all day long. I even have a little rice pack that Mamaw had made me that I heat up and put in its little bed so it can have something warm next to it.

I'm hoping that was just some spit up milk.

Olivia is not dealing well with this. The pups LOVE the kitten but Olivia hissed when she saw it and has been hiding out in a corner of the house. My dreams of her taking over mothering the baby have gone down the toilet. She will always be my #1 baby cat though.

oh and about the elephantiasis. Andrew got stung by some ground hornets last night and had to use his epi pen and go to the urgent care up the street. He is okay now but it was quite a scare in bee land. His entire arm and leg are so swollen and since he allowed me to take a picture of his hands I assume that means he doesn't care if I post it all over the internet. (aren't those unspoken laws?)

poor thing. It is even worse this morning.

Very adventurous around the Kingdom of Traiylor lately.

TGIFFFFFFF

Swanna what?

2011-08-03T12:27:00.000-07:00

Okay. I've come down from my Swananoa high. It was quite a buzz and I flatlined when I got home (as expected) when you leave this utopia world.

So what is this band camp that I have been yaking about? It is one of the most beautiful places in the world held at Warren Wilson College. Each day I took four classes (co-writing, songwriting your story, vocal masterclass, and how to get unstuck in songwriting). I had no pressure assignments but I was constantly working on ideas. It is amazing how your brain just sorta opens up and lets so much creativy come out when you aren't worried about cooking, cleaning, wedding planning, and that thing called work.

Every night we would have some sort of concert to go to and then we would have song circles. A beer and food tent was set up and then people stayed out all hours of the night just sitting around playing songs for each other. It is magical.

It is really something to have strangers from all over the country come together and create this community that supports and loves everyone. I cried more times in front of people than I would like to admit...but your heart really just does pour out when people let you into beautiful moments in their lives through song.

My goals for the week were to release and stretch......and I can tell you I did a lot of both. I'm really proud of myself (can I say that? its my blog...yes I can). I let myself free this trip. I stopped myself from "proving" myself as a musician. I let my heart open to the experience. And I grew and grew even more.

Typical class room setting. This was from my cowriting class with Jon Vezner.

Flashback to dorm living. No ac. No comfy mattress. Community showers. I do not miss dorm living.

First day of class!

I even found some horses and a barn on Warren Wilson Campus. Felt just like home!

I could go on and on and on about this place but it really is something you have to experience for yourself! One more year until Swannanoa 2012!

Where did you go? My lovely...

2011-07-19T11:10:00.000-07:00

It is that stage of the Virginia summer where most days are just h-o-t and humid. So I have been hiding out in my internet free love trailer most days. I just don't do hot weather very well. Or cold weather. I'm a fair weather kinda gal.

Life has been hectic. Wedding planning is in FULL swing. I am trying, desperately, to enjoy it. But there have been moments where I just want to say...."can we go to the courthouse?". But I don't dare let those words come out of my mouth because Andrew would take me up on that in a heartbeat. It will all be worth it. And it will all fall into place as it should. I've had some practice planning big events so this isn't my first rodeo--but nevertheless it is my rodeo this time.

What else is going on in my life? Andrew woke me up this morning on top of a horse. Let's back that up. Andrew was riding this morning while I was still snoozing away and he came down to wake me up. I had my prince on top of a horse waving through the window. For real? Did that happen? Why yes it did. *sigh*

We are about to venture off to our separate vacations this year. It's where we both re-energize and get our juices flowing again. Andrew will spend a week hiking on the Appalachian trail and I will spend a week down in Asheville NC at the Swannanoa Gathering---aka heaven for any musician. We will come back shiny and new with all sorts of good energy to give to each other. It was the best thing for us last year and I think with all this wedding mumbo jumbo it is highly needed this year! I have heard from lots of married folks that having time for yourself as individuals is one key to a successful marriage. AGREED!

So I might not be back here for a bit. But please don't leave me. I have attachment issues.

Happy Summer! :)

devil horns

2011-07-08T11:42:00.000-07:00

I guess I fell a little short on producing a fourth of July post. Or following back up on painting my kitchen & living room. And I definitly fell short of my Ultimate Life Challenge (Jillian got one week of my life.....I'm not giving up, just taking a break).

So I'll post this picture of myself. (I look very serious in it though....I was trying not to cheeseball smile)

I looked in the rear view mirror this morning on my way to work. Little whispies of hair caught my attention and I smiled. I remember being a little girl and always having a million fly aways or "Devil Horns" as my family so nicely put it. If you could see the other side of my head you would see an identical devil horn poking out the other side. As a kid I didn't pay any attention to it. It was just me. Just my hair. Just crooked teeth, big freckles, and devil horns.

Then came adolescence and the devil horns became a life or death situation. I was a cheerleader so I had to wear my hair in a pony tail a lot. I would dry and blow them out (this was before God gave the gift of the straightening iron to the masses) and then spray hair spray on the little boogers. If there was a drop of moisture in the air you better believe that the devil horns popped right back up.

Life was tramatic and there were days that my hair RUINED my life. Oh the drama.

So this morning when I saw my little horns going out of control I had to laugh. I still feel the same as that little girl and to a degree that dramatic teenager. I part of me wanted to take my hair down and freak out about my devil horns but another part of me said, ah, let 'em be. They are me. Always will be. It feels good to get to the age where you go back in time and just accept what you have. Even if what I have and will always have are devil horns.

hope you have a happy weekend. :)

waltzing with you...

2011-07-05T08:26:00.000-07:00

I have a post in the works about the weekend but I can't stop listening to this song and weeping at my desk. Wouldn't it be perfect for a first dance?

I found this singer while doing my usual stalking of the Dutch and Dutchess. She performed for them in Canada.

*more to come!

OH, I'm giving twitter another whirl. Follow me and count how many times I mention my cat! @Val_McQueen

my country tis of thee

2011-07-01T19:08:00.001-07:00

Have a safe & happy 4th! I love this time of year!

shut up Jillian

2011-06-29T12:55:00.000-07:00

That's what I have been screaming at my television each morning. Listen to this craziness. I had a dip in life motivation for about two weeks so then I decided to have a total life makeover (I've had many of these my dears) and made this my ULTIMATE LIFE CHALLENGE

Really all that means it that I am waking up at 6 a.m. each morning and doing Jillian Michaels new 30 day Shred DVD. It is ridiculous. Ridic. I can't walk. I waddle. My whole body hurts. Each morning I dream of sleeping in and spooning Olivia. But it's off to Jillian I go. (that bitch)

My breakdown came after I found a pile of Snickers Ice Cream Bar wrappers in my car, home, and purse. And I'm not talking about those teeny tiny ones that come in a box from the grocery store. I'm talkin' about the KING SIZE monsters from the gas station. I can eat those suckers like there is no tomorrow. I had no motivation to get off of the couch watching OWN & contemplated joining a gym but didn't want to pay the $$ and then about 4 girls told me how effective this DVD is.

So I bought some self tanner and the 30 day shred at Wal-Mart. Let the challenge begin. Why self tanner? Not sure....I just wanted to be all fake tan when I got shredded.

The workout is only 24 minutes but I swear to the good Lord that it feels like an hour. I'm really excited to feel motivated again and hopefully this will get me into pre-wedding day shape. And then I will dive my face into piles of Snickers Ice Cream bars for my entire honeymoon and live blissfully happy every after.

Watch me.

lunch date

2011-06-29T11:08:00.000-07:00

what a lucky day.

Andrew worked on a friend's field today that is close by my work. Being the good American that I am, I scooped up food from both McDonalds and Wendy's and we found some shade under a big birch tree. I tried out the new almond fruit chicken salad thing from Wendy's and it was pretty decent for a fast food salad. It didn't look nearly as good as that stud next to me eating a quarter pounder with cheese and french fries.

Then we (that means I) played a movie quoting game and Andrew couldn't guess the EASIEST movie quote ever.

"if you're a bird, i'm a bird"

I've said that to him about a million times and made him recreate the scene if we are ever near ocean water. He claims that he blacks out usually when I start to make him recreate movie scenes.

then we had a sad goodbye and andrew jumped back on his tractor and I jumped back into my non air conditioned car and made the drive to work, sweaty back and all.

stay cool people.

bears and mountains

2011-06-28T11:01:00.000-07:00

I am back from the best staycation EVER. I didn't have anything planned except for a loverly hike in the blue ridge mountains.

We hiked to the top of Hawksbill Mountain, which happens to be the highest peak in the Shenandoah National Park. It was a short but steep hike. I kept up with my hike with Endomondo, a new little phone gadget that a friend recommended. It records how many miles you have hiked. It also tracks a host of workouts. I'm getting so tech savy. :)

OH, and just a little fashion tip for you guys: Wearing crew hiking socks really highlights the stump look. You know, where your legs & ankles look like they have no definition--just stumps. hotness.

This was my bug spray dance. It was more exciting in person.

Since this is my blog and you weren't on the hike with us (or were you???hrmmmmm) I can make up a story and tell you that I took this picture after a really tough hill and that's why I look so worn out. But in reality I think this is just me sans makeup in the morning trying to force Andrew to take a picture with me.

pretty pretty.

So this isn't a picture I took. Surprise. BUT we did see a big black bear. I was in front of Andrew going down a trail and I looked up and BOOM....black bear. Right in front of me. I swear it was 10 ft. away and very large. Andrew's side of the story is that it was 50 ft. away and a teenager bear. Whatev. Believe who you want, this bear sighting was a little too close for comfort. I wanted to take a picture but I was freaking out a little and just held my phone close to my chest waiting to have to use it as a weapon. We hooted and hollar'd and the big guy ran away.

Nevertheless I was super excited to see my first bear of the year! It's good luck they say!

Happy trails!

i curse when i hike

2011-06-20T08:51:00.000-07:00

It's true. I do.

Sunday's hike was supposed to be "church" for me, so I hope that God forgave me for cursing while I went up the side of a dang mountain that liked to kill me. (I was wondering when I could ever use that phrase...liked to kill me)

Andrew and I woke up fighting like brother and sister. So we thought the only rational thing to do was to take it to the mountains and create some inner peace.

After I got over the steep passes I do believe I had some moments of Zen, interrupted only by the fact that we didn't have bug spray. Bad call.

Here are some photos from our adventure to mountain land...

Out trip was slightly delayed when we need a tune up by our local mechanic/best future father in law Mr. Glenn Crummett. What would we do without you Glenny?

Then we had two pups that were hell bent on going on a car ride to the mountains (lilly is in the passengers seat). They might be spoiled...a little.

Once we got water from the spring down the street we hit the road! (ps. this is the best water you will ever drink. AND an old man told me it is a healing spring and I have physical evidence that it cleared up a bad case of planters warts on my feet. These are just the facts people.)

Isn't this moss shot divine? I told Andrew that I wish I had a little hobbit home in the mountains and all of the walls could be covered in moss.

Do you see his mountain creature feet at the top? He told me to stop saying cuss words and to smell the mountain laurels instead. I chose to do both.

woah mr. snake. what's up? We saw bear poo, no bears, and two snakes.

This hike didn't have a look out per say, but this was a pretty little shot of the mountains once we were on top of the ridge.

It was my first kick in the butt back into hiking/having any physical activity in my life other than flipping in between the OWN network and walking to my sad, lifeless food pantry. We have another big hike on Thursday (My Friday starts at 12:00 Wednesday..woo hoo!!!) Wish me luck!

happy father's day

2011-06-19T19:47:00.000-07:00

My Dad

he's one of my favorite people to talk to

and one of my favorite people to laugh with.

he's the best.

and he can look fierce in a photo next to a bear ~~in a Hawaiian shirt~~

love you :)

Big hair and good friends

2011-06-15T09:03:00.000-07:00

I had my HEN party last weekend!

I was surprised with a lake house at Smith Mountain Lake with some of my most favorite people in the entire world! It was heaven.

(Our view of the lake)

We had dinner on Friday night and I got to wear the prettiest lace dress ever AND a white flower in my hair.

We spent the next day sunbathing on the dock and playing in the water. A lake house at SML has been added to my lists of "wants". Pretty please.

After a few other surprises I was dolled up and ready to go to my final surprise destination. Our cameras all broke so we had to use our phones. I believe that this was somehow an act of God protecting me and my future children/husband. I'll leave you with my Tanya Tucker big hair outfit that I danced the night away in!

(My lucky boots and T-shirt that everyone wore "What Would Valerie Do"!)

Girlfriend is not a spring chicken anymore and it took me two full days to recover. I spent all day Monday on the couch napping with Olivia & my baby blanket. Andrew must have snapped this on my phone .....

My girls did it up and did it RIGHT. I loved every second. THANK YOU for all the memories of (get ready for some inside jokes)

"hot spots, mobile uploads, lisa ling, S n D's, my people, America, mullets, and hair feathers"

Cat time

2011-06-07T06:58:00.000-07:00

I have an insatiable desire to title every post I write

WHAT'S NEW PUSSYCAT?

This desire also arrises when I am on the blue and white land of Facebook.

It's all I think of when I see that little box.

WHAT'S NEW PUSSYCAT? And I sing it in my head when I imagine writing it.

And speaking of cats and what's new with them.....

Olivia bit my hand quite hard this past weekend. I am now ready to talk about it (unless you saw me in person and I put my hand in your face immediately and started telling the traumatic story) But like my Dad always told me, when you have a great cat story in the palm of your hands you must tell the world. The world. And the world wide web.

I was brushing Olivia on Saturday morning. The sun was filtering through the window and we were sipping our coffee about to start our day.

Olivia looked like she need a good brushin'. So I grabbed my hair comb (we share, and it's okay to judge me. I was also once caught bathing with Olivia by a roomate who shall remain nameless.) In normal cat fashion she was all into it. Her butt was in the air and she was lovin' some brushin'.

Then a cold wind swept through the room. A cloud rolled over the bright sun and darkness fell upon us. Olivia got that look in her eyes. That look that says, "I'm 'bout to EAT YO HAND MOTHER *&*(&. ( I apologize for her vulgar mouth. But that was the human translation to her facial expression)

I put my feet up in the chair an assumed position. We've been down this road before a time or two. Andrew stood by murmuring the school yard "ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh. you're gonna get ittttttttttt".

No way. Baby cat loves me fool.

But little did I know that baby cat had transformed into KILLER cat.

I mistakenly put my hand back down in front of her. The killer claws came out and latched to my hand. Her saber tooth teeth sunk into my hand.

This was the bloody Sunday (er Saturday) aftermath.

I know. It's hard to look at.

Andrew went after Olivia with a small wooden American Flag. Don't tread on us.

She stood eating her food in her bowl and did not move and inch or stop eating while Andrew gave her a good whack. Cat has some meat on her bones.

As her mother, I instantly forgave my child and blamed it on her feral upbringing before I took over.

Then I started to swell up.

And I ended up getting meds at Rite Aid for my animal attack bite.

We are all on the path to healing, one day at a time.

And that's what's new pussycat.

He's the kinda good...

2011-06-06T11:34:00.000-07:00

that stops to actually pick up the litter.

(while I just walked by and said mean things in my head.....)

Let's all take notes.

Thanks for keeping Wise County clean, dear.

(pictures at Powell Valley Overlook)

Reasons I will Travel

2011-06-06T09:18:00.000-07:00

Light sabers and snuggles. I will always travel for lightsabers and snuggles from these two boys.

I love being an Aunt. :)

Lots to say

2011-05-31T08:01:00.000-07:00

I have lots to say about my weekend trip back home to visit my kin folk.

There were adventures

Wax museums

Mimosas

Mountains

Moonshine

Family Q.T.

Driving woes

Pools

Sunburns

Great music

and lots more to report about

But in the meantime can I recommend this song to you? Of course I can.

We bought Allison Krauss & Union Station's new album and it is fab.

Girlfriend is like a fine wine....she is getting better and better with age!

thoughts on a Monday morning

2011-05-23T10:10:00.000-07:00

It was a splendid and busy weekend. One of those weekends where you have a lot of extra work related events to go to---which is a little soul sucking---but the extra wonderful weather made it up to me.

AND

I had my first wedding dress fitting. On Friday I rushed to the shop after work to pick up my dress and then drove home going 25 mph with my precious cargo. I kept catching myself glancing into the rear view mirror thinking "Oh my gosh. I have my wedding dress in the back seat of my car". It was one of those moments where you feel like life is really happening. (which, of course it is happening....this was a slow motion movie moment though & maybe got me a little teary and then this song came on the radio and I sang it as loud as I could in a grammy winning performance. It was movie soundtrack perfect)

I scooped up my girl P on Saturday morning and off we went to the seamstress. She was nothing like my worst nightmare imagined. She was so sweet, loved my dress, and said all of the right things. We then celebrated this alteration success at chik-fil-a for breakfast. It was quite scrumptious and the people that work there are just so darn friendly and nice.

The rest of the weekend was a blur of sunshine and friends (& rainbows? what did I take this morning)

Andrew spent the weekend working on the fields. I am so proud of him. He is going all organic this year in the fields & gardens. Chemical free. But that also means that hours are dedicated to weeding.

I was bored at the house and decided to come down to the field to supervise/complain about being lonely.

Small children, cover your eyes. A vampire with hippy shoes is on the loose.

I have given up on trying to be a bronze goddess in this life. Maybe the next one. For now, it is SPF 70 baby all the way. Keeping my freckles in check. My version of a tan will slowly take effect in the upcoming months (while andrew already has a deep farmers tan from just a few days. Let's hope the kiddos get his mountain skin and not my Irish genes). AH, there are worse things in life---try telling that to my 15 year old self. I thought it was one of lifes great tragedy's that I could not get tan like my friends. The pain, the hurt, the sadness in it all. *Sigh*

I hope you have a great day! Here are some pretty pictures of Andrew's mom's famous rose bushes! Comin' right atcha.

lister lester

2011-05-20T08:07:00.000-07:00

1. My first rose blossomed the other day! I was very excited to see that it is yellow--one of my favorite colors.

2. We got straaaawwwwwwwbabies. They are in full bloom in our backyard. mmmmm delicious, organic strawbabies.

Do not be fooled. That is not Olivia. It is her boyfriend, Hank (Hankerpants--who I caught yesterday in an attempt of murder of one of my bunny rabbit friends. I stopped the car dead in its tracks and ran around chasing Hank screaming, "STAY AWAY FROM MY BUNNY!". I'm sure it didn't look strange at all).

He was probably trying to swoon Olivia from inside this morning. That devil. That tramp.

3. I am picking up my wedding dress after work in preparation of my first fitting consultation in the morning! wooooooo hoooooo! I am nervous. The woman has a thick Eastern European accent and probably no patience for picky brides. I got my dress on a super sale rack & got a deal of a lifetime---but it is also about 3 sizes to big for me. We shall see how it goes.

4. I dreamed last night that I was on a trip with random people and ended up in a guest room overlooking the ocean in Thailand. Then I was awoken to my alarm radio blasting Elton John's song "Daniel". What does all of this mean? What is the universe trying to tell me?

5. Worried about the end of the world tomorrow and what will happen to your pets when you are floating up to heaven and everyone else is burning in a fire ball? No need to worry! Click here and all your furry friends can be taken care of. (i think this is for reals? crazy.people.crazy)

Happy Weekend Loves!!!!!!!

Humpty Dumpty Wednesday

2011-05-18T11:35:00.000-07:00

There are times during a work day that I have to remind myself that there is light at the end of the road.

(pic taken yesterday during a crazy storm)

and knowing that I can come home to this love-bug helps too.

Happy hump day (now let's wrap it up)

happy place

2011-05-17T07:28:00.000-07:00

Sometimes you just need someone to help set up your happy place and light a few candles along the way.

a most perfect weekend

2011-05-16T13:07:00.000-07:00

I tried to take a cue from Mother Nature this weekend. Equal parts relaxation and celebration!

It was my soul sisters 30th birthday party on Saturday night and we couldn't have had a better time with friends! They put on such an amazing bash!

(me and the birthday girl...I'm so happy we found each other!!!)

We stayed up late underneath the stars & eventually Andrew pulled me away and said it was way past our bedtime and time to go home. Boo. Hiss. Let a girl party.

On Sunday we woke up and I made biscuits, gravy, bacon and fresh farm eggs for Andrew & our bff friend Eric! Mmmmmmm. I am a good hostess folks. I'll treat you right.

Eric grew up with Andrew in Mt. Sidney, down the road on his family's Dairy Farm. Eric and I went to college together. We became the three musketeers when Eric played matchmaker. It usually just feels like 3 old friends hanging out when Eric is around...and that's perfectly fine with me. We keep each other laughing at life. I love having him over.

eric & andrew having coffee out in the forest garden

We took a walk down our trail in the morning and then after an emergency Slurpee trip was made we stopped by the Wampler farm to walk through the woods.

Eric has some pretty cows. That's a fact.

His farm is absolutely beautiful. A real treasure in these times. :) Look at those mountains.

(did I mention I absolutely love where I live? Because I do. Can't imagine being anywhere else.)

Scraggle-muffins

A storm rolled in as soon as we finished our walk and we watched it pour down the most beautiful spring shower while sitting on the front porch.

AHhhhhhhhhh. yes. It was a most perfect weekend.

summer jam

2011-05-13T12:50:00.000-07:00

TGIF

for reals

this will be my new pre-summer jam.
(except they look like babies in this video....babies)

have a fabulous weekend.

wedding update

2011-05-12T07:28:00.000-07:00

So we are starting to plan. Like really plan. Booking things, making decisions all leading up for our October wedding. :)

(that makes me smile just thinking about it)

It's comes in waves. Some days I don't even think about it, others its the only thing that I can imagine. I try not to stay too long in imaginary world because I feel like it can lead down a road of stress if you let it. I have images of something that I want and then I try to freeze frame it and go write it down or send an email to my LOVELY bridesmaids who have made this entire process so far feel like a magical conversation between little girls.

I love that part. It will no doubt be in my top 5 favorite wedding memories--all these emails chit chatting with wedding excitement.

I went back and forth on what to do on THE wedding night. (don't read into that...) Should we just stay at home? Do we dare have our bags packed and peace out after the wedding? Is it worth the money to spend for one night down the street where we will probably only spend 7 hours tops?

We talked it through and YES it is worth it. Andrew's exact words were "money? Who's worried about money?" ---love him and his utter denial to the fact that we live a VERY simple life. So we booked a room down the street at The Inn at Old Virginia in Staunton, VA.

We will be staying at the William H. Harman II suite.

Fancy. And here is an insiders tip. The lace canopy definitly matches a theme throughout my wedding. It's all in the details. :)

I'm so excited. Things are starting to feel real. We are still figuring out the honeymoon, but the prospects are looking high.

This is #1 on our list:

Can you even imagine? Minutes of my life have been wasted trying to figure out how they get in the champagne hot tub.

Amazing. Simply amazing.

true story

2011-05-10T11:10:00.000-07:00

I was walking down the brick stairs from work, chattin' away with my co-worker. I thought I had landed the last step--I was wrong. My foot skidded down on the pavement and a shock went up my body. Ouch. I stubbed my toe.

If you haven't stubbed your toe in awhile, I'll let you know that it hurts really bad. I got in my car and let out a yelp. And maybe a few dirty words. And then I tried to call Andrew to tell him about my toe, maybe receive a little pity over the phone. It went straight to voicemail. He refuses to get a new phone. He's perfectly happy with the one that just decides to power off whenever it wants to.

So things became very clear in my state of pain. This was all Andrew's fault.

This is a wonderful gift that women seem to have & use in opportunities like this--like when the shelf above the laundry machine falls. His fault.

When I got home and THEN saw that he had not vacuumed, I not only had a stubbed toe & a fiance who won't answer his phone but now I had a messy house. Life was starting to swirl in front of my face like a tornado (that's how things look in my world when I fall into these places).

When he walked in the door a few minutes later, I laid down the law. Thankfully, Andrew did not lose his cool on his slightly off centered fiance and he just let me vent. Then we laughed, as we usually do when I get my panties in a wad over the tiny things. I made him kiss my toe and then I told him that I would start on dinner.

Except in my toe pain & phone rage I forgot to stop by the grocery store. After opening the fridge I realized there was only one option---possibly the best option: BREAKFAST FOR DINNER. It was biscuits and gravy time.

I put on my new apron that I found in a thrift store and started to work. (ps. this is the best apron EVER. It has a towel sewed into it for easy wiping. How genius!)

After making some DANK (it's my new cool word to use) gravy and hockey puck biscuits we went to feed the chickens some left over scraps--mainly my hard as a rock biscuits. I wondered whether they would hurt if I threw them at Andrew, so naturally I threw a biscuit at Andrew's head while he was tying is shoe. It thudded and I got yelled at. Sorta. But then we laughed it off. (or at least I did)

Our 30 chicks & 1 rooster! Andrew & his brother in law made the coop themselves. :)

After feeding the chickens we came inside and I started making up words to a song. A song about biscuits & gravy. I kept coming up with verse after verse. Folks, I haven't written a full song like that in a looooooooong time. I have been waiting and praying for patience and then BOOM I get a vision and it turns out to be about biscuits and gravy. Go figure. But I can't be picky-prayers were answered.

In the middle of busting out my new tune for Andrew we heard a crash. Our eyes locked and we knew what it was. Our baby birds*.

We flew out of the door and found the box on the back porch floor and Andrew screamed "GET OLIVIA!!!". She was about to attack a baby bird on the side of the house. Now, we all know how much I love (obsess over) my cat but I threw that child away from the bird and then scooped her chubby butt up and threw her into a car. I went back to see the baby bird, fearing the worst. It was so dark out it was hard to make her out but then I saw her on the ground. I got all Nat Geo and scooped her up with my hands. Her little heart was going a million miles an hour--and so was mine.

One baby bird had stayed in the nest and I sat their sister (or I guess it could be a brother) in the nest with him. We were still missing one bird. Andrew had seen it flop to the other side of the porch. We searched and searched and then feared the worst. But then a flop on the side of the hill caught out attention. We found her!!!!!!!!

All birdies were safe and sound in the nest. I felt like I had just been in a war zone and poured a stiff drink. We prayed that momma bird would come back & googled every scenario possible (what did we do before the internet machine?).

This morning, as soon as I woke up, I ran to the back porch. All babies were in the nest in the right position and Mama bird had just flown up with a worm in her mouth. It felt like Christmas morning. I jumped on Andrew in bed to tell him the news. In his sleepy slur he smiled and said yay and then promptly asked me to turn the coffee on for him.

The morning after: scene of the crime

He called later this morning to tell me that it looks like Mom and Dad are teaching the babes how to fly. They were out in the yard practicing. I wonder what their conversation was after last night to prompt this first flight class.

I had many waves of emotions yesterday. Call it hormones, call it life. It's amazing what can happen in the span of a few hours.

And that is my true story. :)

*I was wrong about the number of birds--there were really only 3

Baby Birds

2011-05-06T05:34:00.000-07:00

I thought we only had 3 baby birds in our shoe caddy nest but I was wrong. I walked up my back stairs yesterday to lots of "peeping" and I stole a look. Five baby birds had their little mouths WIDE open ready for some food. It was an amazing sight. I was so busy looking at them that I was completely startled when I came eye to eye with mom who was dropping off some food. I quickly ran inside and waited for her to come back for feeding.

and she did! I'm excited to watch these babes grow.

On another note, it is FRIIIIDAYYYY (said in my best Oprah voice)

This week seemed extra long. I'm ready for my weekend which will include the farms annual Kentucky Derby Celebration! I celebrated Mother's Day with my momma last weekend (in truth, she just spoiled me all weekend with bananna pudding, peanut butter pie and biscuits and gravy) BUT I will miss her just the same.

Happy Mother's Day to all of the great Moms out there that I know!

xoxo Have a great weekend!!

healing

2011-05-05T07:39:00.000-07:00

This video moved me at my core. Perhaps it is because I have had my own battles. Perhaps you have too. Let your story out, even if it is to a tiny flower in a field...somehow, someway, so we can stop the poison and start the healing.

love.

(thank you Patti Digh for sharing)

So fresh and so clean, clean.

2011-05-04T08:06:00.000-07:00

I saw this snail on my way into work this morning. I think snails are pretty amazing.

I also found a toad a.k.a Mr. Toad under our back porch the other night. I am OBSESSED with toads. I love them. I pet them and talk to them and they become members of my family. Mr. Toad is a little frightened of me right now...but he will come to love me in due time.

This post isn't really going anywhere and that's okay. It's spring and there's life blooming everywhere. Baby birds just hatched in our shoe caddy on the back porch. Three little babies open their mouths crying for their mom every time I look in. Our forest trail looks like the amazon (to me) because I have never been down there before in the summer. This is the first year we have a trail going to the bottom of the property. It is magical.

Strawberry plants have blooms all over them and our peas and lettuce are poppin' up everywhere.

Life feels fresh.

Do you?

I do.

life is a song

2011-04-26T12:49:00.000-07:00

heard this song on an old mix cd.
it's funny how you can listen to a thing over and over and then one day BAM--the meaning really hits you.

You say life is a dream where we can't say what we mean
Maybe just some roadside scene that we're driving past
There's no telling where we'll be in a day or in a week
And there's no promises of peace or of happiness

Well is this why you cling to every little thing
And pulverize and derange all your senses
Maybe life is a song but you're scared to song along
Until the very ending

Oh, it's time to let go of everything we used to know
Ideas that strengthen who we've been
It's time to cut ties that won't ever free our minds
From the chains and shackles that they're in

Oh, tell me what good is saying that you're free
In a dark and storming sea
You're chained to your history, you're surely sinking fast
You say that you know that the good Lord's in control
He's gonna bless and keep your tired and oh so restless soul
But at the end of the day when every price has been paid
You're gonna rise and sit beside him on some old seat of gold
And won't you tell me why you live like you're afraid to die
You'll die like you're afraid to go

Oh, it's time to let go of everything we used to know
Ideas that strengthen who we've been
It's time to cut ties that won't ever free our minds
From chains and shackles that they're in
From the chains and shackles that they're in

Well life is a dream 'cause we're all walking in our sleep
You could see us stand in lines like we're dead upon our feet
And we build our house of cards and then we wait for it to fall
Always forget how strange it is just to be alive at all

white skirts, dogs & horses

2011-04-21T11:48:00.000-07:00

This was my early morning view this week.

I am going to miss my little view of the mountains so much when the leaves come on the tress---but I am also looking forward to feeling like I am in my own little forest. :)

Our grass was getting really tall in the front yard. Time for a mow! Andrew set up electric fencing and, *bing* we had our very own GREEN TEAM MOWING MACHINES!

I had Andrew snap a picture of me before I was off to work in front of my new neighbors. (they weren't really interested in talking to me that morning--and ps. the rest of our yard is catching up on the growing process....bare with me. Get it? Bare?! hahahahah)

And then Hunter wanted to come and get in the picture. Problem is he also wanted to give mom some kisses. White skirt + golden retriever who rolls in EVERYTHING = problem child.

He just couldn't understand that this photo shoot was not about him.

(and this is where I pretend that my animals talk to me in photographs)

"please mom. just pet me, puhleaseeeeeeeeeeee"

"oh, you say you don't want to get your white skirt dirty before work? Hrm...?? Is that why you aren't showing me any attention? I'll keep on trying."

"It's time to get my best friend Lily involved in all this"

"I won."

HAPPY EASTER FOLKS!

beauty on this earth

2011-04-19T12:15:00.000-07:00

The Mountain from Terje Sorgjerd on Vimeo.

Abbys

2011-04-14T07:41:00.000-07:00

I love when Andrew asks me to come to Abbys with him.

That's where we keep a handful of horses off of the farm at Andrew's Aunt Abby's land. This is also where my baby Belle has been for the past year. I love any chance I get to go snuggle and give her kisses on her soft horse nose.

It also means that I get to walk on the train tracks. I hear this is very illegal...so kids..don't do it. But it makes me feel like a wayfarin' stranger. Just me and my love with no place to call home. Just walkin' down the train track, runnin' from the law.

And at some point on the tracks we cross over and our friends are waiting for us.

I think I had a one horse eating my foot and one eating my hair. Little rascals.

If you ever have a bad day, just call me up and you can come chat with these guys. Instant happiness. They don't even care what you look like or if you have on your stinky old Uggs that are 5 years old.

That's one big dandelion, people.

And here's some music for your little ears today. Yes. It is official. I can't stop listening to Gillian Welch. I just want to find my very own David Rawlings and life would be complete.

Happy Thursday :)

the night i fell in love with peanut butter pie and cornbread

2011-04-11T13:50:00.000-07:00

I wanted to go out for dinner on Friday night. Long week=ain't gonna cook.

Andrew has hermit-ish ways. He likes take out and nights in.

We met in the middle and it turned out to be the best date night we've had in a while.

We drove to Dayton and had dinner at Thomas House. It is country cooking heaven. It is a secret treasure restaurant and I want to move closer to it and eat every meal there. And our meal, which included desert cost $20. Heaven. I was tempted to ask if they would cater my wedding. I just might.

I'm not good at taking pictures of my food. I eat real fast with no thoughts of documentation. just chewing. But trust me. This was some delicious southern food.

I loved the wishing well when you walked in. I wish I had more pictures of the restaurant itself because it was the quaintest small town place that you could think of. But----those places usually look at your backwards if you start snapping pictures.

How can you pass that up?

Then we waddled through downtown Dayton and passed some friendly Mennonites.

When we got back to the farm, we will felt like we still need to waddle around some more after our huge meal so we took a walk on the fields to see how the new grass was coming along. And we kicked some horse shit. It's very therapeutic.

Happy Monday. Hope you had a great weekend!

amen.

can't stop listening

2011-04-07T10:38:00.000-07:00

somtimes it feels like music burns into my soul, real deep down like.

You know that feeling, right?

thine eyes shall see

2011-04-06T13:55:00.000-07:00

"I feel sometimes as if I were a child who opens its eyes on the world once and sees amazing things it will never know any names for and then has to close its eyes again."

Marilynne Robinson, Gilead

*baby Andrew McQueen*

let's play catch up

2011-03-29T08:29:00.000-07:00

classy scene. My 27 birthday was last week and we celebrate low key style. I opened a bottle of rum that I have been saving from my trip to Nicaragua in 2006. That would make it...12 years aged rum. Yummy. I have been saving it for a special occasion/time and it just felt right. This has been the best year of my 27 years!

The baby chicks are here! Andrew came home with 30 chicks! Phase one of our farm plan-complete. Bring on the cows!

woo hoo. name on a street sign.

WE DID IT! Living room, check. Kitchen---you're next. I may have had a temper tantrum when we started ( I really hate painting) but we did it and it looks great! Well, the color is kind of the color of band-aides, but it is a vast improvement. Pictures to come...

and last but not least, I just wanted to show you how big this mirror is in my office. Do I check myself out in it every morning? Why yes I do.

the kingdom of Traiylor

2011-03-24T09:59:00.000-07:00

So about once a month I go through something.

Yes, that....and

getting really down in the dumps about not having my home look like I want it to.

I had grand visions when we first got the trailer. I was going to make it look like a little cottage on the inside. It was going to be the cutest trailer you have ever seen. People would read my blog and see the transformation and their jaw would drop and they would say, "oh my gawd, that is the cutest trailer evah..like EV-VER".

My problem is that I am great at coming up with ideas and seeing a clear vision---not so good at carrying that vision out. I think it has something to do with my sign.

I have the paint. It is sitting in a closet.

I have picture frames....in a bag in the spare room.

I have shelves....somewhere.

Curtains---I need more curtains.

But other than that...I just need to DO IT. It seems overwhelming but if I say I am going to do it on this here internet machine, then I feel like it will make me do it.

and then I can post before and after pictures and everyone can go "oooooooohhhhhhhh" and "awwwwwwwww" over my trailer makeover.

right? right. Thanks. I needed your help.

ps. the play went GREAT! I am so happy I was a part of it.

pps. I am playing here tonight. come and see meeeeeeeee!

go time.

2011-03-18T10:20:00.000-07:00

"art, especially the stage, is an area where it is impossible to walk without stumbling. There are in store for you many unsuccessful days and whole unsuccessful seasons, great misunderstandings and deep disappointments. You must be prepared for all of this, accept it and nevertheless stubbornly, fanatically follow your own way." -Anton Chekhov

I have this quote in a frame in my bathroom. I read it everyday, just about. It was given to me my senior year of college from my favorite Theatre professor and I cherish it. It makes me feel good about falling on my face a million times and having the courage to get back up again.

"Timon of Athens" starts it's run this evening. Please think of me tonight at 7:30. My guts will be hanging out on a stage singing, and probably stumbling, but fanatically following my way.

violence

2011-03-15T08:02:00.000-07:00

re-reading my post from yesterday morning makes me feel slightly violent towards myself. who is that chipper in the morning? how many of you wanted to punch me in the face yesterday? 5am, yoga, & curling irons?

have no fear, those days are few and far between. I was back to my normal snooze button routine this morning.

one more thing....

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM & OLIVIA!

miss sunshine

2011-03-14T08:16:00.000-07:00

This past weekend was beautiful. BEAUTY-full.

Here's a weekend list:

birthday festivities on Friday night for my friend Caroline & we got to hear the tail-end of an awesome show

Saturday morning biscuits & gravy, play rehearsal, & dinner with the future in-laws

Sunday morning early rehearsal and the rest of the day was spent out in the woods!

We finished clearing an entire circuit of our trail that we plan to have around the entire farm. It is the best thing ever! I took some video of me walking it, but it came out all blair-witch projecty so I will save you the headache.

This morning I was wide eyed and bushy tailed at 5am. I laid there for 30 minutes and then decided to not waste the morning in bed. I did some yoga, made quite possibly the best sandwich breakfast ever and sipped on tea while I curled my hair. This morning was perfecto. Andrew was the ying to my yang and woke up like a bear because he couldn't get to bed last night. I think he wanted to take my super sunshine smiley morning mood and shove it somewhere......

I'm takin' this busy week day by day. The play runs this Fri, Sat, & Sun and I am so nervous/excited I can't stand it!!!! (or is it I am excited to finally have by evenings back!?)

xoxoxoxoxo

eye twtich

2011-03-09T07:42:00.000-08:00

I am on overdrive this week. Lots of rehearsal, work, music, rain, and poor diet choices.

With all that said, LIFE IS GOOD. Just, oh so busy. So I will leave you with a little treat that I have been working on.

My soul sister Priscilla helped me put together a wedding blog so I could keep friends & family updated on the big McQueen-Crummett wedding! Enjoy! I hope to update it with more info and photos as soon as I get a decent nights sleep!

http://mcqueen-crummett-wedding.blogspot.com/

FREEDOM Friday

2011-03-04T11:12:00.000-08:00

I had way too much sugar today (bake sale AND birthday cake at school today) but I just wanna jump onto a rooftop and scream today!!!!!!!!

FRIDAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!WOOHOOOOOOO!

And to end the week, I thought I would pass along some good tunes that have been in my head lately. (i have eclectic taste, can you tell?)

Happy Weekend Folks!

put this on in your car, turn it up and roll the windows down.

swoon. this is beauty.

this has been in my head non-stop lately, why? I'm not sure. but I do love this song.

we always rap "we put on for Mt. Sidney" (the town we live in)-----it's legit. And if you are ever in the car when this song comes on, I will rap Jay-Z's part with all my heart and soul. That's what's up.

How David Arquette Helped Me

2011-03-02T10:37:00.000-08:00

Last week, or maybe it was just a few days ago, I watched an episode of Oprah (oh how I have missed you) and her guest was David Arquette. I was sucked in from the beginning. (Oprah is the BEST interviewer--no matter how many times she interrupts her guests..I STILL love her).

The interview pretty much consisted of David telling his downward spiral story and how he is working on himself now. I really respected him for his honesty. He said one thing that really stuck out in my mind over the last few days. It was something his yoga instructor told him (so she probably read it from a Buddhist reading or something and I am probably butchering the quote) but it went something like this:

"Anger is like drinking poison and expecting someone else do die"

mind blowing statement to me.

And I've replaced "Anger" with other negative emotions like, stress, anxiety.....all of those icky feelings. It just registers in my head, this statement. I thought I would pass it along to you all in case it makes you go "AH-HA" as well.

Happy Wednesday! Let's all stop drinking poison, shall we?

March, Secret Forts, and a Pimped Out Dish

2011-03-01T07:38:00.000-08:00

Oh March. I'm so excited you are here because that means that we are closer to spring and it's my birthday month! It's also my Mom & Olivia's Birthday month. woo hoo!

Hopefully March will bring us more spring teasing days like it was this past Sunday. I have been so busy lately and haven't spent much time on the farm or with my love, the pups, or baby cat. I think I smiled the entire day.

I am so content in my little home, on this little hill in the world. We are so blessed to have nature at our doorstep.

We took a family walk down into the woods to our future "Forest Garden". Andrew has been studying permaculture for months and months, reading everything he can get his hands onto. I am so excited for what things will look like come Spring. Lilly(above) is a big fan of the Forest Garden--and walks in general.

Hunter and Charlie are quite the pair. Their favorite things to do together? Wrestle and fight over sticks.

Olivia always joins us for family walks to the Forest Garden. We start down the path and the pups run in front of us and then we call for Olivia. I will have to video tape her walking down the path one day. I seriously think she has an identity crisis. She completely thinks of herself as one of the dogs.

This is one of my favorite things. It is our secret fort. Right next to the Forest Garden I spied a pile of fallen trees and branches and my inner child was set free. A FORT! Not only that...a SECRET FORT. We spent an afternoon clearing around it and adding sticks to the top to create a tiny shelter. I will have to get better pictures of it but it is going to be my favorite hide out on the farm, I can already tell!

I also spied with my little green eye the most trailer-rific thing on Sunday. I don't know how I didn't notice it before (shows you how crazy life has been lately) but we have a new addition to our rooftop. We wanted cable---we got cable, and a new pimped out DISH! Andrew felt so bad when he was explaining WHY it had to be placed above our beautiful door. I guess it was the only place that would pick up reception. Oh, just add it to the story of our trailer love. xoxo

I got cable and now I can do Red Carpet Event reviews

2011-02-28T09:48:00.000-08:00

drum roll please..............................

I introduce to you "Valerie's Deep Thoughts about the Oscars"

It has been such a long time since I have been able to watch a red carpet event. Last night I was so excited and cuddled up to Andrew on the couch to watch the event. Except he tried talking me into watching a documentary about the Taliban for about 30 minutes before I pulled out all of my "how many boxing, football, basketball, "24", action movies...(you get the point) have you made me sit through" speech. And then I won. And we disected how everyone looked together. I must say he has good taste.

Let's start, shall we?

Although Andrew was worried that it was a bit scandelous on top with the little lace pretties covering her ta-tas, I thought this dress was just.....GORG! Her hair, the color, the makeup...it all just worked for me. Even though it was a little Nip daring---I thought she pulled it off.

I like simple. I like clean lines. I like things done right. And this girl did this right.

Wow. JHudson looked fab. She has really transformed her body. I loved this dress and the color on Jennifer. Her hair was a little stiff on the sides.....and I'm not a big fan of what's going on in her chest area (they are just like...chicken cutlet looking....) BUT damn girl. Good for you.

Okay. She looked beautiful. We all can admit that. But I felt like it was a little too.....Julia Roberts circa 2001? I don't know. Kinda boring to me. And what was up with the pony tail extension? Sorry girlfriend...I wasn't feeling it.

I didn't see Michelle on the red carpet but I did see a close up of her face during the Best Actress part. Her face is just....flawless. I just think she looks like an angel. She pulls off the pixie like no one can.

Oh, I love her. I love her little preggars ball gown. She is just so pretty and can pull off just about everything. I just didn't like her earrings. Kinda ruined the overall look for me. But she did have the classiest acceptance speech. Love her.

Can we please have more young women in Hollywood who dress appropriate for their age? Love her whole look.

Me and my friend Johannah have this saying....W.W.G.D. (what would Gwenyth do). We use it in social situations when we need to remember to ....well, stay classy. Needless to say, I've always been a big fan of her. Gwen looked really beautiful and I liked the metallic look. BUT. Oh, Gwen. I'm struggling with this whole "country strong" thing. You do have a beautiful voice. I love the song "Cruisin'". It fit your style of singing completely. But I'm not feeling your performances as of lately. Especially last night. I mean, you have a rockstar hubsters, a baby, you are incredibly wealthy and beautiful.....maybe you can't have it all *gasp*. And who lined up Celine Dion to sing directly after Gweny? Bad call, folks. Moving on, moving forward.....

Last but not least, our hosts. I love Anne Hathaway. She pulls of the quirky-nerdy girl meets bombshell perfectly. I thought she looked stunning in all of her choices--she is a classic Hollywood beauty. Mr. Franco--you are a good lookin' man, no doubt. But, I'm not exactly sure they cast correctly for a co-host. You a. looked exhausted and b. acted "too cool for school". I don't know....I just need a little bit more personality for a co-host. Give it to the girls--Anne out shined.

Alright. These are my big thoughts on the Oscars. I know I probably missed some big names....(halle berry....you can do no wrong) but this was all I could remember on this moody Monday morning. Joan Rivers will probably be calling me any minute now to book me for her show.

Peace out lovlies.

my pretty flowers

2011-02-26T06:45:00.000-08:00

This is the African Violet that we never thought would bloom.
Look at her now!
Andrew has the green touch. His Grandma tells him that he can make anything grow---and that's a special comment coming from Grandma McLaughlin. She has the prettiest flowers on the farm.

I noticed little bulbs pushing their way up from the hard ground this morning. It reminded me of how many cues we can take from nature. I reflected a lot this winter about my life and the world and what I want to do in the time I have left here. I feel spring moving in me now.

Keep on pushin' through.....

airplanes and me don't mix

2011-02-23T06:18:00.001-08:00

I'm back from a trip out of my beautiful state of Virginia.

I had quite an adventure getting back and I cannot tell you how many times I thought of this quote that I have posted out there on the internet machine before:

"Normal day, let me be aware of the treasure you are… Let me not pass you by in quest of some rare and perfect Tomorrow. One day I shall dig my nails into the earth, or bury my face in my pillow, or stretch myself taut, or raise my hands to the sky and want, more than all the world, your return."
- Mary Jean Iron

We leave home thinking that when away, things will somehow be better, make more sense, or the fabulous-ness of being away from the day to day will be refreshing. Oh this was so far from the truth. But I did walk away with a lesson learned--and sometimes you have to go away from home to finally see what you have.

happy Wednesday.

*ps. I may never fly again. Driving is the way to go.

Beastly Beast

2011-02-16T13:34:00.000-08:00

Is it just me & the 2 margaritas I had last night or was today a beast for everyone?

okay. Don't answer that. I know.

Tonight, all I want to do is eat take-out chinese food & become an attached lump to my already lumpy couch.

these are my big thoughts for the day.
Congratulations! we both just wasted a few minutes of our lives together!

have a happy, relaxing hump day night.

ps. I am in love with Gillian Welch. When I watch her sing, I am just in a trance, I can't even take my eyes off of the screen. *sigh* music crush fo sho.

it's tuesday? here's a hodge podge post.

2011-02-15T05:54:00.000-08:00

How did that happen? It seems like I got home last night after 9:00 p.m., closed my eyes and suddenly I was driving back into work this morning at 7:30 a.m.

I have to say, I need to toot my horn a little bit at how well I am dealing with this...well, busy-ness! It can usually send me into a tailspin. (like you don't already know that about me).

I somehow got myself wrapped into being the Musical Director for a Mary Baldwin MFA Shakespeare Production. I made a name tag that says "Musical Director" and I wear it around all day long. It might be my greatest title to date. It's a pretty cool project--I am covering 6 tunes from a musician named Robyn Hitchcock. I also play a small role as a whore in the second act. So, most nights if I am not working with the cheerleaders I am either busy working on music or being a whore. Just a day in the life.

This is a hodge podge post.

I don't have any real story running through it. I always envy bloggers who seamlessly add pictures, quotes, and music to a blog post and it all connects.

This just isn't one of those posts.

Oh but guess what? I got my phone to work (still working on project: get a fancy phone). Here is a picture we snapped from the hike. We look a lil' scraggly. This was before I fell into the river/creek.

Andrew bought me that sweatshirt at a gas station before the hike as a V-Day present. Ain't he sweet? I love Virginia & that boy beside me.

Here is my last bit of news for this hodge podge.

We are breaking down. After I blogged about not having cable, it just all became too much. I NEED TO HAVE SOME CHANNELS. This is a big deal. Like, life is going to change in the trailer forever.

we are gonna get a dish.

Happy Tuesday loves!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I tried to avoid putting "Happy Valentine's Day!!" in the title but failed.

2011-02-14T11:03:00.001-08:00

Call me uncreative.

What an explosion of love-fests on the world wide web today.
I'm all for it.
I love seeing people (via FB/blogs) getting flowers, making super cute dishes for their loves, and all around being on top of this lovely holiday.

I am just not one of those people. I was lucky to find a clean pair of maroon stockings this morning to throw on for festive spirit. (okay,who am I kidding. They are not clean but the feet don't smell like rotting garbage......yet)

I just got off of the phone with Andrew and our convo pretty much went like this:

"What are you doing?"
"Fixing the sink in the bathroom"
"Good"
"What do you want special for Valentine's Day"
"I don't know, if I had a debit card I would have gotten you flowers or something"
"I'm glad you didn't. We haven't been paid this month & we're kinda poor"
"How about a ten minute back rub tonight?"
"I can live with that"
"Done and Done"

In and out and easy. One of these days I am going to blow him away with amazing holiday spirit....but until then....

Have a LOVELY Day LOVERS!

via.

张悬 - 宝贝

2011-02-13T16:51:00.000-08:00

(V, my chinese counterpart)

I don't think it is any coincidence that I am currently writing a Grammy award winning song on the very same night of the Grammys. It's all in the cards. I just need like 4 more verses & good melody for the chorus.....almost there.

I'm also simultaneously trying to learn the words of a Chinese song that I told my friend from school I would learn. She is 14 & from China and is starting to learn how to play the guitar (but like, she can read music and already blows me out of the water ). We practiced for about 2 hours on Saturday. We are going to tour the world one day--a U.S. tour and a China tour at first--and then the world. Her American name starts with a V too, so we planned out a perfect peace sign trademark.

Learning a Chinese song is hard. It reminds me of when me and a friend in high school were obsessed with the soundtrack/movie to "Selena" and we would just butcher Spanish words and just make up what we thought she was singing. It wasn't until my fourth year in Spanish that I realize what she was actually saying. I'm going to try and respect the Chinese language a little more on this one.

We had our "VALERIE Day" today. I woke up A by singing my new Chinese song at the top of my lungs to him while he was still waking up. He really loves me. Brunch was amazing, but then we went for like a 500 mile hike, I fell into a creek, busted up my knee & I dropped my cell phone into the water and had to hike out with cold wet feet. : (

So there goes the pictures to accompany that adventure (but maybe talks of a fancy phone were brought up?!)

"V Day" was a little bit of a flop. But I am cozy at home in a robe, knee propped up, learning Chinese and writing grammy winning songs.

Can't stop, won't stop. Peace out.

Last night I learned how to do the jerk.

2011-02-12T06:15:00.000-08:00

This is me.

This is me with a painful look of chaperone-anxiety on my face at the dance last night.

I am older this morning.

I am going to be 27 next month and that realization was confirmed last night as I seperated make out sessions, hands heading down southern regions, & chased around boys who "just want to go sit on the bus, man. I don't like the way you are comin' at me, yo".

But of course I had fun. I even learned how to do the jerk (& no, I am not referencing the Steven Martin classic). Andrew once again saved me at a work event by being an all star chaperone. We have both decided that if we have a daughter that she can never grow up and if we have a son he will not be allowed 2 feet from a female at all times.

I slightly envied the innocence of the kids last night, dancing around like maniacs to every Lady GaGa song they could listen to, but then I thought, no way. I am soooo happy that I have already lived that part of life---oozing teenage hormones. No thank you. I'll take my baby raging woman hormones any day.

Givin' the Goat

2011-02-11T06:41:00.001-08:00

(picture from my non-fancy phone)

Last night was sooooooooooooo good for my (our) souls!

I love the stage at Mockingbird because you feel like you are in someones living room--we sat just one table back from the stage. The Black Lillies were awesome.

At one point Andrew turned around and said, "Is he giving you the goat eye?"
Now, I don't know where the origin of the "goat eye" comes from, but I have a feeling that this is something that came straight from the hills of W. VA. It means giving someone, well, you know, that kinda look. ;)
I'm pretty sure that he was giving everyone the goat eye from the stage but I smiled and said, I don't think so, and kept on dreamily staring, maybe hoping that he was giving me a little goat. (what, engaged doesn't mean blind.....)

After the show I rushed over to buy their new CD. I walked up up to Trisha, one of the singers, and asked her if I could hug her...because, I'm all touchy-feely-and-slightly-awkward like that. I saw Cruz, the lead singer, to the side and smiled as I asked him to sign my CD. I was face to face with the goat eye. I left really fast because, well, you just shouldn't linger around handsome musicians with goat eyes. This is a very important lesson in life.

Givin' the "goat".

It's a good thing I have already fallen head over heels for a boy with the biggest blue eyes on the planet.

Plans for the weekend: High School Valentine's Dance tonight! I already told all of the cheerleaders to ask Andrew to dance. He will die. For reals.

Saturday I have to work from 9-4 (boo) BUT I also get to work on some music during that time. I can deal with that. Sat. night we are going over to a good friends house (who has babies that I can play with!) and Sunday is our full day celebration of V-Day! (Valerie Day!)

xoxox Happy Weekend lovers.

runaway music

2011-02-10T11:45:00.000-08:00

Tonight I am going on a date night with A-dog to see the Black Lillies. Have you heard of them? I fell in love with their recent CD and I am really looking forward to being around live music tonight. It's been too long and it's just good for the soul.

I also discovered this band called The Civil Wars. They kinda make me swoon. *sigh*

and while we are on the subject of music, I am sponsoring a dance this Friday with the cheerleaders and I have been instructed to learn the "dougie". Andrew has to help chaperone with me. HA. I am so excited/scared about what I will see and how many grey hairs I might leave with.

My guitar is sitting next to me in my office--ready for practice after work. March is going to be a busy music month for me---but it will be an exciting month (not to mention by birthday month) It's moving along----even on days when I feel like it is moving along at a snails pace....it's movin'.

big black box

2011-02-09T15:41:00.000-08:00

We don't have a t.v. I mean, we have a TV but no channels. So we watch a lot of DVD's and I beat Andrew in the Wii 3 point shoot-out a lot (I have the ranking high score---what now basketball star?). I want you all to close your eyes and imagine sitting with you partner, BFF, after work with no TV. Sure, for like, a week, I felt all good about our decision (it's mainly a money saver) but then you start to realize HOW HARD IT IS TO JUST SIT with another person in the room without the TV to serve as a third party.

So here are some things that we do to pass the time:

*play board games
*listen to NPR
*read
*go to separate rooms so I can practice/he can play Wii/get away from each other
*talk about the day
*eat food and stare at each other
*get on the black hole that is facebook and have andrew read over my shoulder (but yet he hates FB.....denial, boo, you are in denial.)
*talk to our animals like they are real people
*look at the stack of DVD's that we have watched 100x already and get into a fight when I am forced to watch "Oceans 12" for the 12 millionth time.
*poke each other in the face
*talk about working out but not really do it

Look how interesting my life is!!!!!! I swear we really are in love with each other. I think that all couples should go tv free for a bit of time before the big W day. Maybe not to this insane extent but it definitely makes you closer and prepares you for being with that person non-stop FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.
*dum, dum, dum* Cue scary music.

But I wouldn't take back our super close time together. It's special/torturous in all the best of ways.

big black box

2011-02-09T13:51:00.001-08:00

3X3X365

2011-02-09T08:28:00.000-08:00

my friends have a new blog project and I think it is wonderful. You should check it out. :)

http://3x3x365.blogspot.com/

yay for the middle of the week!

The month I can't spell!!!!

2011-02-01T05:19:00.001-08:00

HELLO FEBUARY! I mean, February. Thank goodness we got that whole January mess over with.
February, treat me right baby, treat me right.

I'm out of the depths of despair. For reals. But I have found myself super busy. My days have somehow stretched from 6:30 a.m. to about an average of 7:00 p.m. That's a long time away from the farm....and I don't like it. BUT it's for good reasons and at least it is keeping me busy during the dark days of winter.

Not much else has changed on the home front, but Olivia has decided that she wants to lounge on the counter top--which she has never been allowed to do before. She is a persistent booger. But we figured out why she keeps getting up there.

HANK. The barn cat is creeping up to the window and making goo-goo love eyes at our Olivia. Hankerpants, as I affectionately refer to him as, watch it. Olivia might have a whole lotta lovin' to go around---but you are a barn cat. She, is a well-bred, long haired, sassy pants machine. We just can't have any messin' around going on.

Hank (Hankerpants)- Barn cat/Olivia stalker

Happy Febuary.

feet and such

2011-01-21T05:52:00.000-08:00

I am officially on my way to being a stage mother.

Last night was my first game as "coach". I nervously sat each girl down in-between practicing cheers and tied huge white bows in their hair. I bent down to pick something up and got a little whiff of something special. My Secret was not being so secretive. I was sweating bullets.

I watched the clock tick down before quarters and made sure they were ready to go out.

"okay. now remember to start slow. take a big, deep, breathe. And smile. Don't forget to smile. And......"

I stopped myself because their eyes were starting to glaze over.

The buzzer went off and I scurried across the floor in my work heels to the middle row of bleachers. Front row. I neurotically sat bobbing my head, smiling like a banchee, and standing up clapping furiously after they finished.

I am so proud of these little chickadees.

As I sat back down, I took a look at my feet. Probably because they were screaming at me. And I thought to myself, How did I get here? I used to be one of them...not so long ago. And now here I am with my feet smushed into shoes that make my toes feel all cramped up like the back pew in church. (Baptist, of course.)

Life just flies by, doesn't it?

I came home to a toasty little trailer filled with two farm dogs, one cat, and one boy. He pulled my toes apart (TMI? never.) and I sat on the couch, listening to this over and over. And then we talked about how big my feet are and Andrew tried to convince me that if he didn't have a crazy long 2nd toe, that my feet would be bigger.

I would just like to state for the record, that my big toe is about a half of an inch shorter than his. (even though it doesn't look it in this picture)

and as I sat there, soaking in my work day that lasted from 7:30 a.m. to 8:30 p.m., I thought to myself, here you are.

Here you are.

Here you are.

And I smiled, 'cause my heart feels pretty full right about now.

a gift

2011-01-19T05:45:00.001-08:00

A Mr. Rogers Song

what do you do with the mad that you feel?
when you feel so mad you could bite
when the whole wide world seems oh so wrong and nothing you do seems very right
what do you do?
do you punch a bag, do you pound some clay or some dough, do you round up friends for a game of tag or see how fast you go?
it's great to be able to stop when you planned a thing that's wrong and be able to do something else instead and think this song.
i can stop when i want to
i can stop when i wish
i can stop stop stop anytime
and what a good feeling to feel like this and know that the feeling is really mine.
know that there's something deep inside that helps us becomes what we can
for a girl can be someday a lady and boy can be someday a man.

(If you have 7 minutes, you should listen to this. )

A few weeks ago, I was taking pictures during a middle school geography bee at the school that I work at. It was down to the final two-a boy and a girl. Everything slowed down at that last question. The judges announced that he had won and I snapped a picture. I watched through the lens as the small girl lowered her head and alligator tears began to flow. Her entire face looked like the world was crashing down. The amount of pressure that she had put on herself was heartbreaking to watch--because I knew that I was that girl.

When did we start? Were we 11? 7? 5? When did we start beating ourselves up for not being good enough?

Just like Mr. Rogers said, we can stop.

I guess I have been really taking a look at patterns that I have created in my life and I'm ready to break them.

Won't you stick around to help me? Thanks.

make it beautiful

2011-01-19T05:39:00.000-08:00

In light of all of the negative activity going on in my brain right now (I'm planning on somewhat trying to sort this out shortly....) I have to send out this light of love to anyone that I can.

Everyone should have a Priscilla in their life. How did I go this far without one? I don't know. But having her 3 miles down the road from me is like a little gift from God.

Her blog is called Make it Beautiful. Right now she is campaigning to bring happiness into the world through these two little girls.

I dare you not to tear up.

So just give a little. I stopped feeling sorry for myself as soon as I read their story....try it out. :)

a tiny goodbye.

2011-01-17T19:43:00.000-08:00

i'm going to clear my mind for a bit. a small internet machine detox.

thanks for reading my little blog and being so lovely.

not sure if this chapter is closed or not but it is a darn good chapter.

i just have to focus on some really great things going on right now. I don't want to pass them by. :)

xoxo.

POST EDIT: 1/18: I am a little dramatic. I think I just had a bad night and felt like things would calm down in my life if I put social media on hold. And a little of that is true. I'll be back really soon. :) (like probably in an embarrassingly short amount of time)

let's break up all this self help talk, shall we?

2011-01-17T10:40:00.000-08:00

kitty-snake found here.

:) Happy Monday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

falling and flying

2011-01-15T17:34:00.001-08:00

image source ?

i said sometimes i just want to stay in bed all day, watching t.v. by myself.
alone.
he laughed and said me too.
and I laid beside a boy that is a man who will soon be my husband.
he said talk to me,
and so I did.
my face felt raw, like opening my mouth somehow exposed the worlds that are living upstairs.
it almost felt wrong.
but then the boy that is a man who will soon be my husband saw me,
and said it's okay.
and he did not look away.
and I knew I was safe.

Cheerios

2011-01-14T07:07:00.000-08:00

This week was in one word..

wildcrazyohmygodwasitevergoingtoend.

I think I need a list to get started.

1. My mom is in town. I came home to a kitchen filled with gravy smothered pork chops last night. Heaven. Can she just come move in? Please?

2. It was cold as balls here all week. I've never understood that phrase....but it was darn cold.

3. I maybe got the tub of Neapolitan ice cream out the other night and ate half of it. Then I woke up the next morning at 5 am tenderly hugging the toilet. Why do I do this to myself? Just face it girl, you can't eat dairy.

4. My mom is going to see me in my wedding dress for the first time tomorrow morning! AHH!! yay!

5. I am now, Coach McQueen. The Varsity cheerleading coach at school had a leave of absence, and when my boss came in worried about how to fill the position for the next 5 weeks---I just couldn't contain myself.

"I WAS CAPTAIN OF MY CHEERLEADING SQUAD AND CHEERED ALL THROUGH HIGH SCHOOL. I'LL DO IT!"

It just came out. I couldn't stop the words coming from my mouth. So now, I am working with a lovely group of 13 High School students.

It's pretty cool. I'll keep you updated. It should be a wild ride for the next 5 weeks.

And of course, I am channeling Sue Sylvester. I am waiting for UPS to deliver my track suit any day now.

Happy Friday Folks!

one year

2011-01-12T05:11:00.000-08:00

"for whither thou goest, I will go, and where thou lodgest, I will lodge. thy people shall be my people, and thy God my God."

Ruth 1:16

i love you a bushel and a peck.

Saturday Morning

2011-01-08T05:42:00.000-08:00

it's cold outside.

thankfully the wood stove beside me is rolling with heat, crackling and popping in the silence of morning.

i sit alone, looking out the window.

i nervously think in my mind what i should be doing.

shouldn't i be cooking breakfast?

shouldn't i be preparing for my trip later today?

the dogs start barking outside, an act that on most mornings fills my chest with anxiety at each bark.

so i sit.

and listen.

and breath the cold air up my nose and slowly out.

and turned down the volume of my mind.

and that one moment became beautiful, peaceful.

i'm working on filling my days with these.

one at a time.

(i also find peace while eating biscuits and gravy too, just in case you were wondering...)

breathing today.

2011-01-03T05:26:00.001-08:00

image found here.

Normal day, let me be aware of the treasure you are… Let me not pass you by in quest of some rare and perfect Tomorrow. One day I shall dig my nails into the earth, or bury my face in my pillow, or stretch myself taut, or raise my hands to the sky and want, more than all the world, your return.

- Mary Jean Iron

Finding it a little hard to breathe easy today.
but that's okay. it is.
Because I will take today, breath by breath and not let this Monday pass me by in hopes of something bigger or better.
One of my New Year's Resolution was to be kinder to myself. To put my own hand over my heart and say, "it's okay. you are okay. you are enough."

Here is my first chance.

love.

Goodbye 2010!

2010-12-29T20:27:00.000-08:00

2010
You filled us with such happiness and taught us many lessons (in patience, mostly).

Here are a few bits and pieces of our year!

Andrew and the boys came to the big city and moved me out of Richmond at the very end of 2009. Goodbye city, hello country! I was so excited to start this new journey in life.

We picked out our "spot" in the woods where our future home would reside. It was hard to imagine a litte home with all of the brush. And then of course we had to wait on the snow to leave to start clearing the woods. It was just the start of a looooong waiting line.

I made a quick trip back to Richmond to see good friends and finally got to meet Patti!

Here's a secret to some. In the midst of my new "change" I felt that woman instinct to change my hairstyle. I liked my bang for about 4 hours, and then I realized that I permantly had hair hanging in my face and became best friends with bobby pins.

Andrew was signed co-owner of Cool Breeze Stables! I was(am) so proud of him!

We searched high and low for the perfect trailer and found her! We emptied our bank account to put down the down payment. It was a very exciting day for us. We also watched as the land was cleared and the septic & water was put in.

And then we started the waiting game. We were held up in the moving process by weather, permits and anything else that could have gone wrong--went wrong. We took our minds off of the frustrating process by retreating to the mountains as much a we could.

I asked Andrew the other day what is favorite memory of 2010 was. He told me it was the day he asked me to marry him-hands down. :) He deserves 4 gold stars for how perfect it was. I was completly surprised.

Shortly after our engagement, we FINALLY moved in! It's our little work in progress but the saying is true, there is no place like home.
An engagement/house warming party was the pefect way to end the fall. Thanks to our family and friends, it was a night that we will never forget!
So, obviously the engagment ruled the last part of 2010! Shannon Miller took these amazing engagment pictures. I can't wait to see what the wedding photos wil look like on the farm!

I made big strides this year with music, finally putting some songs that I worked on with a friend on a CD. I played out as much as I could and even started playing and singing by myself. Baby steps. :)
We enjoyed settling into our new home this fall and making friends with the neighboring sheep farm. There is nothing better than looking out the window and seeing these friends so close by.
We spent Christmas this year in our new little home. It was cozy and full of love.

There seem to be a million other memories in 2010 (but damn this takes a long time to put together...) Thank you to all of our friends and families for making this year one of the best yet. I pray for blessings in 2011 to you and your loved ones!

Happy New Year!

arrive.

2010-12-28T08:28:00.001-08:00

We waste so much energy trying to cover up who we are when beneath every attitude is the want to be loved, and beneath every anger is a wound to be healed and beneath every sadness is the fear that there will not be enough time. Our challenge each day is not to get dressed to face the world but to unglove ourselves so that the doorknob feels cold and the car handle feels wet and the kiss goodbye feels like the lips of another being, soft and unrepeatable.

-Mark Nepo, "Awakening Rights"

image found here.

the head and the heart

2010-12-27T10:42:00.000-08:00

I'm a wee bit obsessed with this band.

I feel fresh today. Like spring. You know when you can feel something changing in you deep down? I feel that way today. Maybe it's the bone chilling wind that brought this change. Maybe that wind blew in goodness from all over the world and smacked me in the face this morning.

I don't know what brought it but I like it.

peace out.

merry happy happy christmas

2010-12-25T17:42:00.000-08:00

oh, it was a wonderful, white Christmas.

mom sent us a fabulous stocking full of essentials like nyquil and milano cookies (she knows me so well) and we were all perfectly spoiled and thankful on this Christmas day.

peace and love to you and yours.

i can only think in lists

2010-12-21T06:06:00.001-08:00

-I woke up with 15 minutes to get ready for work this morning. Good thing I fell asleep in my black tights last night. Getting dressed was easy peasy.
-My potato soup that I made yesterday leaves a film on the roof of your mouth. It is an epic fail.
-I went on a hot date last night and watched Black Swan. I never want to say I want to be perfect again. Enough said. (ps. Don't go see this movie with your Mom or a first date....you will regret it.)
-I hard core spooned my cat this morning.
-I haven't washed my hair in more days than I would care to admit.
-4:00 p.m. today marks the start of my winter vacay.
-I usually cringe when I see someone write, "vacay". It reminds me of girls that do that whole extension of the last syllable that starts high pitched and then goes down. If you went to Roanoke College you know what I mean.
-I'm drinking a diet coke right now. I never drink diet coke.
-Andrew and I had a text battle this morning. We both started with rage and now we are talking to each other like pirates. Typical.
-I love everything about her.
-One time, a boyfriend broke up with me a month or so before Christmas and I thought my life was ending (dramatic pause) and he sent me a huge package in the mail right before the holiday that turned out to be those really good and expensive Harry & David pears. But to me, they were always "I don't love you anymore pears".
-My lips are chapped and they hurt real bad.
-Today marks the start of winter. Time for reflection and starting a new.
-I was just called a big fat dingleberry in a text from my fiance.

happy Tuesday.

my weekend

2010-12-20T05:58:00.000-08:00

*snow turned it into a four day weekend
*i thought I could accomplish EVERYTHING on my to-do list
*i didn't.
*spent lots of time curled up on the couch next to the fire
*baked soggy banana bread
*went on a successful vintage shopping trip
*watched about 27 movies (you should rent this movie. amazing.)
*played apples to apples with friends
*talked about building a commune
*sat on the couch & watched 27 more movies (word on the farm is that we are getting a Wi for Christmas)
*started talking about the wedding and all of the sudden it seemed REALLY REAL. :)
*listened to Nicki Minaj with my boo. This album is off the chains.

and now here we are on Monday morning. woo hoo for a two day work week!

winter white

2010-12-16T15:42:00.000-08:00

there were early warning signs that she would never be able to own a winter white coat.

i've been complaing on facebook about how I will never be able to own a winter white coat.

and it's true.

I can't even walk out to my car without getting dirt somewhere.

(and it's safe to say that i still end up with chocolate everywhere when I eat it)

it was just never in the cards.

blah blah blah blah blah

2010-12-16T13:10:00.000-08:00

This is a wee rant.

It's not that I don't like you, Cocky Musician, but ya see, when someone says something like, "How 'ya been", to you, the polite thing to say is, "good" or "ah--i've been better" or "ya know, i just feel amazing to be alive today" .

You don't say: "i hate it when people ask me that question"

and to paraphrase: "i am basically so popular in the world that I have created for myself that I get asked that question all of the time and ugh, you small tiny people just don't understand how tiring it can be to have to answer that bland, shallow question day after day."

and then banter continued while C.M. eplained how complex his mind was and how he was "in a war with mythical gods in a field".

So next time, instead of just staring at you imagining a monkey with a guitar, I will tell you that in the South--where you claim to have your roots--we answer questions polietly and humbly--no matter who asks.

rock on.

ROAD TRIP- revisited

2010-12-14T09:17:00.000-08:00

I think I started the downloading process last week and I'm just finally getting around to posting these. I feel like I am in super-slow motion time when the holidays come around. I just can't seem to get one project finished!

But, alas, here we are!!!!!! Road trip memories...

On our way to Norton we detoured off of I-81 and went on a drive on through the Parkway. I wish I had a fancy schmancy camera so I could capture the true beauty of these mountains. But these will do :)

The best thing about our road trips is that we both hate the interstate & love going on adventures in the mountains. We always stop when we see something interesting or beautiful. I hope we are old and wrinkly and still pulling off the side of the road to pause at the beauty.

We found this little spot that had a waterfall alongside the road. I was so happy that we jumped out of the car to take a peak because we found these really fun stepping stones going across the river.

He's no good for you.
There's my twinkle toes.

I have decided that A. this coat is just too small for me. B. I look like I have a turtle shell when I wear it.

This is where the fun part of the trip started. We got to the very tip top of a mountain and it started to snow. And then we realized that we were basically in the snow cloud that was shooting down ice & snow on the mountain with no guard rail in my little slip & slide Volvo.

So we had to turn around.

And that added about 2 hours onto our trip. Fun times in car land.

I only thought about pulling over on the side of the road to take an icicle and jab it into my eye once...or twice.

FINALLY. We pulled into the booming city of Norton. Norton really does have a charming little downtown section.

And this is a stuffed possum with a crocheted-by-Mamaw pink collar. Just some of the random things that I find when I go home.

Did I mention that I love going home? I do.

And I love our car trips, adventures and all.

conciousness and creativity

2010-12-14T07:22:00.000-08:00

I've been wanting to write a post on this topic for awhile, so thanks Patti for once again inspiring through sharing.

This morning Patti posted an article by director David Lynch about meditation. Meditation is something that I have been working on for a little over a year now. And I will be the first to admit that it is something that I struggle with, daily.

My big hurdle? It's not quieting the voices (crazy train....) but it's the initiative to JUST DO IT. I always think there is something more pressing to do....which couldn't be further from the truth. It used to scare me to try and quiet my mind, deal with the "voices" but lately it has just been the inspiration to follow through on the act.

Or I think that I have to have super buddah powers and mediate for 2 hours each day.

What I loved about this article is that David brought mediating back down to reality for me. It's 15 minutes here in the morning...or 20 minutes during lunch break....or right before bed to still the thoughts. It is DO-ABLE. And I love the connection he makes to creativity.

I came to believing in the power of meditation a year or so ago. I've always been a nervous person....I can remember being paralyzed with stage fright when I was in high school. My brain always seemed to be going at full speed. After a few tough years in college and post college--I gave western medication a chance. It lasted about 4 months and helped through a very difficult situation in life but there was always a gut feeling telling myself that this was not the answer.

It seems like I have been on a journey ever since trying to heal. When my problems with GERD flared up again after moving to the Valley I finally said, enough is enough and I took action. Sometimes I have to step back and thank my little GERD friend. My body was telling me something was very wrong, and I am glad that I finally listened.

After a few phone calls with very close friends & family in the healing/spiritual world I set my course of action. Meditation, Diet, Exercise, & Acupuncture. That was my new prescription.

I meditated each day for a few minutes, followed a gluten free/sugar free/caffeine free diet for 6 weeks, exercised (I prefer pilates) and I started acupuncture treatments.

All I can say is that I went from thinking my life would be full of prescription meds, slight panic attacks & hugging the toilet at least 3 times each month to being able to control almost all of my symptoms--both physical and mental. Maybe one day I will dive into the specifics of my regimen...if anyone is even interested but I can tell you that no one thing is going to work. Everything is a balance and you cannot achieve your health goal without say...eating healthy. Or exercising. They all work hand in hand. Acupuncture will not make everything "go away". It opens up your energy fields..and paired with diet, exercise and a healthy mind, I 100% believe in its power.

So those are my thoughts for the day (wrap it up...its 11:15 a.m. and I am done!). I only speak from my experience and I fell off of the path MANY a time but this article and video reinvigorated me this morning to stop making excuses for mediating. I want this to be a part of my life, everyday. (& it would probably help things out if I stopped purchasing double stuffed oreos, darn.)

ps. you can also follow my soul sisters journey in healing, here. Her writing has become a daily inspiration for me. She will make you want to stare straight in the mirror and scream "I AM BEAUTIFUL!"

a very charlie brown christmas tree

2010-12-12T05:39:00.000-08:00

Last night we piled the entire family into the car.

It was Christmas Tree time.

We took a drive over to a family members land that has a bunch of cedars and pine trees growing in hopes that we might find the perfect tree.

(we're on a little bit of a budget.....we'll see you next year Possom Hollow!)

Despite their gloomy faces, car rides are the pups favorite thing to do. Maybe they didn't like Olivia tagging along.

"Please don't leave me in here with these smelly dogs"

No, Andrew isn't taking a leak in the picture. He's revvin' up the chain saw for our monster of a tree! (and then my camera died....so it goes...)

TA-DAA!

And there she is!!! The most beautiful Christmas tree i've ever laid eyes on!

We sat beside our wood stove sippin' on some *tasty hot coco and delighted in our first christmas tree decorating day together in our new home!

We just need a few more ornaments....

We're gettin' in the spirit around here folks. Hope you had a wonderful weekend!

*Pretty Darn Tasty Hot Coco*

Fill one coffee mug up with milk (leave room on the top for marshmellows)

Heat milk up for about 2 min. or so..Add 1 & 3/4 packet of coco mix (mmmmmmm)

Stir together until well blended.

Reheat if needed. Add a splash of Vanilla Coconut Milk (sold in your healthy section of the grocery store---i'm trying it out. Milk has become my enemy)

add a dash of cinnamon (the secret kicker)

Reheat if needed...just make sure it is at a good sippin' temperature.

Add TONS of mini marshmellows.

Give another sprinkle of cinnamon on top--just for looks sake.

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM. Now find a woodstove, 2 farm dogs, 1 black and white cat, a trailer, & your lover and I promise you--all will feel right in the world. :)

important milestones in life

2010-12-06T18:44:00.000-08:00

we're back from a trip to South West Virginia.

we blazed through blizzards.

we ate our weight in candy and cookies.

and Andrew won that Cracker Barrel game for the first time in his life.

i love road trips with this guy.

Happy One Year Anniversary, Mt. Sidney

2010-12-03T08:00:00.000-08:00

I love my drive to work in the morning, especially when I take the back way into town, winding around the hills of the Shenandoah Valley until I reach the city limits of Staunton.

It is good for the soul.

And this morning I realized that I have been living here on the farm one full year.

I moved around to a few different cities growing up but I always had this hunch, while making that long drive across the state from VA. Beach to Norton as a child, that I would end up in the Valley.

And here I am. Here we are. And I am so, so happy.

Here’s to many, many, more memories and years living in one of the most beautiful places on earth.

beautiful morning drive photos (on my little camera phone)

Happy Friday!

purple rain, purple rain

2010-12-01T08:19:00.001-08:00

Today I am wearing purple tights.

I'm not a very trendy-wear-purple-tights-kinda-person, but I have to tell you....I'm rockin' the purple tights and i like 'em.

(maybe they aren't even trendy and I'm just regressing back into elementary school fashion wear)

-you can't really see the purple-ness of the tights in this picture, but I assure you they are -

Happy Wednesday! Put on some funky colored tights and have a great hump day!

Coat of Many Colors

2010-11-30T06:58:00.000-08:00

If I rubbed a bottle and genie came out and granted me 3 wishes, one of them would be the ability to play & sing this song the exact way Dolly does.

Look at those nails! How does she do it? I can't even do it with my little nubs.

This is one of my favorite songs and I always relate it to Christmas although there is no reference to Christmas which brings me to my next point.....

I'm learning Christmas Tunes!

Any suggestions? Little Drummer Boy? Joy to the World? Feliz Navidad?

After I learn all of these Christmas songs I am going to hold a Christmas concert at the Kingdom.

You're invited.

Be there.

(okay..i'm not really holding a concert but I would like any feedback on your favorite Christmas cover!)

fantasy land

2010-11-29T09:22:00.000-08:00

I am back from the depths of despair. do not worry internet world.

A long holiday weekend of feasting and locking myself (& Andrew) at home with all three extended editions of Lord of the Rings and the new Robin Hood made life all better. ( that sounds healthy, doesn't it?)

It also led us to name our newly formed Kingdom of Traiylor

(pronounced TREA-LOOOOOOOR)-the crest of Traiylor-

I realized that we were taking our geek'dom level to all new heights when were referring to the dogs and Olivia as Knights and Princess (and don't even get me started on our trip to the mountains--I may have pretended that I was Frodo taking the ring to Mordor.....geeeeeek out. But it made me happy. And it helped make the whole Holiday gloom go far, far away to other distant Kingdoms ruled by elves. (and its not my fault..I grew up watching Ewoks, Dark Crystal, Willow & any other fantasy movie my brother could get his hands on)

thank goodness Andrew appreciates and fully participates in my fantasy world.

happy monday!

(me last week thinking about T-giving)

t-giving blues

2010-11-22T09:55:00.000-08:00

This morning, I decided to be a poopy pants blogger and tell the ENTIRE WORLD that I am taking a T-giving internet machine break.

Do you want to know why? Because I'm the T-giving Grinch this year. I just overheard a woman at a diner talk about how she just couldn't wait to get the Holidays over with and my immediate reaction was, "Oh I just can't stand people that are so bah-humbug about Holidays" and here I am microsoft painting my feelings away.

I could be real chipper dipper and tell you everything I am thankful for (I will try not to get nausea reading the 1,000,0008498759827489 things people are thankful for this week -see...there I go again being a big fat grinch) because of course, and I hope you know this, I am so blessed and thankful for many things.

But.

I am sad.

Everything is changing so fast. It has felt that way since college. I just feel like I have been inside of some wonderful tornado giving blessings and changing everything I have known all at the same time. Thanksgiving will not ever be the same for me again. I can't go back "home" because the family and home that was once there is not (this is my inner divorced child speaking). And that's okay, life evolves and things change and I have my big girl panties on and can deal with that but Holidays like Thanksgiving just bring the memories to life and I can't help but feel......sadness.

Last year I was planning my visit home to Norton to spend time with Mamaw. Last Thanksgiving she was feeling better. This Thanksgiving she is gone.

Last Thanksgiving Mamaw gave the prayer and she cried the entire way through it just as I am crying all the way through writing this. I wonder if she knew it was her last Thanksgiving? I guess none of us really know.

Today and this week, I am happy for you, I really am. I can't wait to read over all of your posts and pictures about your family celebrations. But for me, this week is a little sad. I am mourning over the death of not only my Mamaw but my past. Maybe this is necessary to move on to my new family? Maybe we all mourn the loss of our childhood as we move into this new phase in life? Maybe when I have my own babies and start new traditions with my lil' Crummett family I will not feel this way?

But for now, I hope you don't mind, but I think I am going to take the week off to take care of myself. I get to sing on Friday and that will surely be a bright spot. I know she is watching me.

Love and blessings.

music like this...

2010-11-18T06:33:00.000-08:00

It just makes me want to curl up on a couch and write, write, write.

I wrote a song a few days ago. It was the first time something has come together in awhile. I really struggle with writing because I battle this thing called ME. But when I finally push fear aside the words and music just drip out of the pen and I just feel liberated.

I was supposed to sing in an open mic night with my friend Peter last night. Peter is amazing at the guitar and I love playing music with him. He unfortunately got sick and couldn't come leaving me naked on the stage (I mean..not forest gump style..but you know what I mean). Guess what?

I made mistakes.
I was a bit nervous.

But. I did it. Solo. Guitar and all. And it felt absolutely wonderful.

Baby steps my friends. xoxo